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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27140311">Atlas</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/boshinya/pseuds/boshinya'>boshinya</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Donnie is a good brother, Fluff, Gen, I forgot how to write help, Leo Needs a Hug, Leo does NOT have a good time, Lots of Angst, Pancakes, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Leonardo (TMNT), Rated For Violence, Sickfic, at the end, but nothing big I promise, can't believe i almost forgot that tag, everyone get yourself a Donnie, gosh I love these kids so much, i love that that's a tag, if any tcesters even LOOK at this fic from a mile away I'll break your kneecaps, just saying, some swearing because Raph must Raph, they're literally related by blood people</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:01:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27140311</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/boshinya/pseuds/boshinya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Leo discovers his definition of "fine" may vary from his brothers, pancakes are made, and Donnie loses ten years off his life from stress. </p><p>Not exactly in that order.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Donatello &amp; Leonardo &amp; Michelangelo &amp; Raphael (TMNT), Leonardo &amp; Michelangelo (TMNT)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, four things!!</p><p> - Wow, I know it's been a stupidly long time since I've updated anything, sorry everyone. This year really kicked my butt :(</p><p> - In this fic the personalities of the turtles are a mix between the 2003 and 2012 turtles, with my girl April having her 2003 personality since 2012 April ticked me off sometimes. </p><p> - This was only supposed to be a drabble I SWEAR but then it was 6k words out of nowhere so I thought "duck it" and here we are. </p><p> - Please please please let me know if I missed any tags!! I want everyone to stay safe and comfortable reading this fic. </p><p>Thank you for reading!! :D</p><p> - Misty</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michelangelo stared at nothing in particular as he leaned heavily against Raphael’s plastron, snuggled protectively underneath his older brother’s muscular arm. In another situation Michelangelo would have joked about his red-clad older brother showing his rare soft side, but not now. </p><p>Not while their eldest brother was lying on the van floor covered in a thin blanket they had managed to snag from the lair, barely breathing. </p><p>Michelangelo’s immediate older brother Donatello kept on moving around, fussing over Leonardo’s blanket, then the two humans in the front seat, Michelangelo and Raphael, then repeat. Casey and April had been uncharacteristically silent the entire trip to April’s old farm house, none of the usual bickering wandering into the back of the van. </p><p>The fleeting thought of telling Donatello to stop moving around so much crossed Michelangelo’s mind, but he shrugged it off. He knew how his brother felt. Normally it would be the orange-clad ninja bouncing off the walls and occasionally, when they let him, his brothers’ shells. However for once in his life, Michelangelo was still. </p><p>His brothers either didn’t notice or they were good at hiding their concern, and for all his nonsense Michelangelo was no fool. He knew it was the latter, but his two remaining brothers were too busy trying to keep from falling apart they could worry about their youngest brother’s lack of energy later. </p><p><em> No, not remaining brothers, </em> Michelangelo reminded himself. <em> Awake brothers</em><em>.</em> Yes, that was correct. Leonardo wasn’t gone, he was lying right next to them for heaven's sake. He couldn’t leave, Leonardo was too important to them. He wouldn’t leave them. </p><p>. . .right?</p><p>When they arrived at the farmhouse Michelangelo reluctantly pulled himself out from under Raphael’s strong hold, standing back as April opened the back of the van to let Donatello and Raphael carry their unconscious brother out, Raphael at Leonardo’s shoulders and Donatello supporting his legs. Once it was safe to exit the vehicle Michelangelo gathered his brother’s equipment and followed them sluggishly, keeping his gaze away as Raphael and Donatello slowly worked their way to the upstairs bathroom per April’s instructions. He dumped their stuff at the bottom of the stairs before following, just in case he needed his hands to assist his brothers.</p><p>In the bathroom Michelangelo’s brothers slowly lowered their leader into the bathtub, Donatello turning on the faucet while mumbling something about “helping him heal faster”. Michelangelo’s eyes skirted between Raphael and Donatello as April ran a sponge over Leonardo’s forehead, wiping away some of the grime that had accumulated on his scales. Raphael’s eyes had a distant look to them as he watched their brother sadly, and Michelangelo could almost see the guilt eating up their brother from the inside out. Donatello had his eyes closed as a pained expression flashed on his features for only a second before it was wiped away, and Michelangelo was certain if he hadn’t been looking for it he never would’ve seen it at all. </p><p>With one last glance at his leader and brother Michelangelo left the bathroom, leaving only Raphael where Michelangelo knew he would stay until their brother awoke, if at all. </p><p><em> No, </em> Michelangelo reminded himself firmly. <em> Not if, when. </em> </p><p>Michelangelo distracted himself with chores around the barn and house, feigning a happy and goofy nature in hopes of lightening the mood around the house. It didn’t succeed as intended, but he could see the others were trying to return to normal. Michelangelo knew they were trying, they really were. For each other. But the fact was that their lives would never be normal again without Leonardo in them. </p><p>Michelangelo woke with a start, panting as he sat bolt upright and took in his surroundings. His vision was hindered by the darkness of the room, but he was able to make out the fading paint on the walls and old wood that made up the door. That was right, he was in the farm house. He was safe, miles away from New York. </p><p>A vision flashed before his eyes. Leonardo on the ground, soaked with his own blood, unmoving. Michelangelo kept on begging him to move, get up, do <em> anything, </em> but Leonardo didn't respond. He never wakes up. </p><p>Suddenly, the room felt tighter than it used to. </p><p>Michelangelo slid out of bed and creeped down the hall, using every bit of ninja training he received in his life to not make a single sound. As he approached the bathroom he was surprised to find the door ajar, a small light coming from inside. Michelangelo was perplexed but continued tiptoeing down the hall, slowly pushing the bathroom door open when he reached it. He was met with the surprised face of April O’Neil. </p><p>“Mikey?” April asked, sitting on the stool next to the tub where Raphael usually kept watch from. “What are you doing up so late?” </p><p>“What are you doing up?” Michelangelo blurted out instead, genuinely curious. April looked away then, her eyes staring far away as she took her time to respond. </p><p>“I caught Raph in here again, so I offered to take watch while he tried to get some sleep,” April finally said, turning back to him. Michelangelo nodded, not needing any further explanation. They all knew Michelangelo’s normally hot-headed brother was taking Leonardo’s condition exceptionally hard, choosing to keep watch over him at every waking moment. Michelangelo didn’t need to see the dark bags underneath Raphael’s distant eyes to know he barely slept anymore. </p><p>“Your turn to answer.” April broke the silence, pulling Michelangelo from his thoughts. </p><p>“Well, uh,” Michelangelo started, swallowing when he realized just how dry his throat was. “I had a nightmare, and usually when I have nightmares I go and sleep with Leo but since he’s, ya know, I thought. . .” Michelangelo trailed off, searching April’s face for any signs of judgement or pity. He found none, just an understanding smile. </p><p>“Of course,” April said, standing up. “Do you need anything? Pillow? Blanket?” </p><p>“I think I’ll be okay,” Michelangelo was quick to assure her, not wanting to cause her any trouble. “Do you mind if. . .?” </p><p>Again, he didn’t need to say a word before April nodded and walked to the door, giving him a gentle look before exiting the bathroom and closing the door behind her. Michelangelo flicked his eyes back to his unconscious brother in the tub, shifting from foot to foot. Finally Michelangelo let out a sigh and walked over, settling down on the floor and leaning his carapace against the tub’s cool side. It was strange. His brother was right next to him, yet Leonardo felt a thousand miles away. </p><p>Michelangelo sat quietly for a moment, debating, before finally giving in and reaching behind him, feeling around until he felt Leonardo’s cold hand in his own. Michelangelo used every ounce of cation he could muster before lifting his brother’s arm over the tub’s edge so that it dangled next to him. Michelangelo was positive it couldn’t be a comfortable position, and made a mental note to apologize to his brother later. </p><p>Michelangelo gripped Leonardo’s arm in his grasp like a lifeline, leaning his head to rest against his brother’s hand. The same hand that tended to every bump, bruise and scrape he got. The same hand that took his own and led him through difficult parts in katas. The same hand that would rest on his cheek as Leonardo looked at him with pride, his sapphire eyes sparkling.</p><p>Michelangelo felt his throat constrict, and he nuzzled in closer to Leonardo’s hand to hide his tears even though no one else was with him. He began to hum an old Japanese lullaby Leonardo used to sing to him and his brothers whenever they were frightened, slowly rocking himself into a restless sleep. </p><p>When Raphael found Michelangelo the next morning he was still leaning against the bathtub hugging Leonardo’s arm tightly, as if he let go their brother would disappear. Dried tear tracks stood out on his round face, and Raphael didn’t say a word. He crouched down to carefully untie his brother’s damp mask and take it off, tucking it away in his belt to put in the laundry room later to be washed. Raphael pried Michelangelo’s death grip from Leonardo’s arm, placing their brother’s limb back in the cold water and making a mental note to drain and refill the tub later. Raphael then scooped Michelangelo’s sleeping form into his arms in a bridal carry, his youngest brother muttering something incomprehensible in his sleep at the movement before nuzzling in closer against Raphael’s warm plastron. Raphael felt his heart squeeze painfully, his jaw clenching as a wave of protectiveness washed over him. </p><p>Raphael carried Michelangelo downstairs to the living room, nodding at Donatello and Casey as he did so. Making sure not to jostle him, Raphael carefully set Michelangelo down on the couch in front of the tv. He left to go grab the thickest blanket he could find, draping it over Michelangelo and making sure every inch of his brother was covered and warm. Raphael hesitated before finally sighing and leaning down to press a small kiss to the top of Michelangelo’s head, the same way Leonardo always did for all of them. </p><p>“Goodnight, otouto,” Raphael whispered, leaving his brother to sleep in peace. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Three months. Three months of waiting, where every time one of the brothers went to check on Leonardo it was like a scab ripped off a wound. The pain and agony came rushing all at once, and Michelangelo felt like he was choking until he was finally able to leave that wretched room. The room where Leonardo was lying in an old bathtub in a coma, constantly reminding them of their failure.  </p><p>When Leonardo finally opened his eyes Michelangelo was on him in an instant, hugging his neck tightly and trying and failing to suppress happy tears. </p><p>“Take it easy,” Raphael ordered, but there was no bite in his tone. His emerald green eyes glowed so bright Michelangelo was half convinced if someone turned off the lights they would be glow-in-the-dark. </p><p>Michelangelo and Raphael helped Leonardo downstairs, supporting almost all of his weight. Michelangelo wasn’t bothered and he knew Raphael wasn’t either; their brother had lost most of his strength. Leonardo had always carried them through the worst situations they could fathom, so they would be glad to carry him for a change. </p><p>Michelangelo hadn’t noticed it at first due to the overwhelming happiness, but after everyone had calmed down and tears were shed Michelangelo studied his newly-awoken brother. Thick new scars lined his throat and left knee, and three rough lines were gouged into his plastron from where someone or something had struck their brother down. Michelangelo absentmindedly thought they looked like the product of the Shredder’s blades. </p><p>Another new addition was Leonardo’s voice. Gone was the higher-pitched light voice that had soothed him and his brothers all their lives and reminded them all that their oldest brother was still a child as well, instead replaced by a rough and raspy sound that made Leonardo seem. . . older, somehow. Michelangelo pushed that thought away and figured it was just a temporary side effect; their brother would be back to normal soon enough. </p><p>Not for the first time, Michelangelo was wrong.</p><p>Their cherished and respected eldest brother and leader moved around as much as his injuries would allow, but he was distant. Withdrawn. As if a part of him was still asleep back in New York, stuck in an endless nightmare. </p><p>They almost made it to the one week mark before Leonardo took one look at a welding mask Casey and Donnie had in the barn and snapped. Michelangelo wasn’t afraid to admit he was scared. Terrified, even. It took them an hour for Leonardo to finally let them approach without him striking out, finally released from whatever demon had seized his mind when Donatello managed to convince Leonardo to breathe with him. He had laid on the grass after that for a long while, staring up at nothing. That night Leonardo woke up from a nightmare with a scream and got the entire house on alert in seconds, only to snarl at everyone that tried to approach. </p><p>It went on like that for a long time. Michelangelo lost track of the number of times a nightmare from either himself or his brothers woke him up from a restless sleep, shivering in his covers. But they got better, Leonardo got better. He still had bad days and nightmares and limped subconsciously when he thought too hard and couldn’t talk sometimes, but that was alright. Piece by piece, their brother was finding himself again. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Michelangelo took one look at Leonardo in the morning and immediately knew it was going to be a bad day. His brother’s posture was slightly slouched, and his deep sapphire eyes held a particular dullness in them that Michelangelo had seen too often for his liking. Raphael and Donatello didn’t notice so Michelangelo didn’t say anything, but he secretly gave Leonardo more food with breakfast, ready to catch their brother when he fell. </p><p>It was months after they had defeated Super Shredder for the second time, and all the enemies in New York had either gone into hiding or to jail. Leonardo took up the mantle of sensei with grace, training his brothers to the best of his ability. Michelangelo thought it was a little odd at first to see his brother sitting at the place their father had once sat in the dojo, but he eventually grew accustomed to it. Leonardo thought he had everyone fooled, but Michelangelo could see just how much stress his brother was constantly under. Michelangelo was in awe of how Leonardo held his burden without so much as a single complaint. </p><p>They were gathered at the kitchen table playing Mazes and Mutants after managing to drag Leonardo from his mediation when the dam finally broke. Raphael rolled a 21 on the die, defeating all of them in one swift move. </p><p>“Ha!” Raphael cackled in glee, looking smug. “All of you are beneath me.” </p><p>Michelangelo noticed the effect immediately. Leonardo’s muscles stiffened in an instant, his breath hitching so quietly Michelangelo was positive his other two brothers hadn’t heard it. </p><p>“I’m going to the bathroom,” Leonardo mumbled softly, slipping away and out of the kitchen. Raphael was too busy gloating to notice and Donatello was glaring at him, so Michelangelo inwardly sighed and jumped off his stool to follow his brother. He was on his own today. </p><p>Michelangelo was close enough behind to see Leonardo close the door to his room, and Michelangelo pondered the idea of not disturbing his brother in order to prevent embarrassing him. Instead he shook that thought away; his brother’s health came first, not his pride. </p><p>Taking a deep breath Michelangelo walked the familiar path to Leonardo’s bedroom, lightly knocking on the door. </p><p>“Leo?” he called out softly, not hearing a single sound coming from inside. Michelangelo counted off the seconds it took for his brother to realize he wasn’t alone and respond, getting to fifteen before an answer came from the other side of the door. </p><p>“What’s up, Mikey?” came Leonardo’s voice, and Michelangelo didn’t miss the slight shake of his tone. </p><p>“I’m coming in,” Michelangelo stated before Leonardo could argue. </p><p>“Wait-” Leonardo tried to protest, but Michelangelo was already pushing the door open to darkness. The light from the hall illuminated Leonardo’s room, revealing Michelangelo’s blue-banded brother sitting on his bed, leaning his carapace against his headboard while his knees were pulled up to his chest. Leonardo’s hands were resting on his mattress, probably about to push himself to his feet, and Michelangelo guessed they had previously been around his knees. </p><p>“Do you need something?” Leonardo tried to ask innocently, and while his posture could have been written off as normal, Michelangelo saw the storm brewing in his brother’s dark eyes. Michelangelo didn’t answer, instead reaching over to turn on Leonardo’s lamp before closing the door. Michelangelo crossed the room to sit on the bed next to his brother, not missing the way Leonardo flinched away. </p><p>“Leo, bro, I’m not going to judge you,” Michelangelo said softly. It was a simple statement that should have been obvious, but it worked as a trigger for whatever Leonardo had desperately been trying to hold back. His entire body went rigid, and his breath seemed to stop altogether. Leonardo seemed confused for a moment and tried to breathe again, only to fail once more. Michelangelo watched sadly as Leonardo’s eyes went wide with realization, and everything came rushing in at once. One of Leonardo’s hands went automatically to his chest as he gasped for breath, his body shaking like a leaf in fall. </p><p>“Leo, bro, you’ve gotta breathe,” Michelangelo reminded him, wanting desperately to reach out and hug his brother, but he knew that wasn’t a good idea. Leonardo’s eyes didn’t see him, they were seeing something else. They were always seeing something else. Michelangelo knew his brother probably hadn’t heard him either. </p><p>Leonardo let out a strangled sound in the back of his throat, and Michelangelo had to clench his hands to keep from pulling his brother into his arms and never letting go. Watching his brother hyperventilate, eyes wide as he re-lived a nightmare, was more painful than any wound Michelangelo had ever experienced. </p><p>“Please, Leo, please breathe,” Michelangelo choked out, feeling tears well at the edges of his baby blue eyes. Leonardo didn’t hear him, chest heaving as he struggled to get air in through his broken and scarred throat. </p><p>“It’s alright, Leo,” Michelangelo murmured, not able to make his voice go any higher than a whisper. “I’m with you, you’re safe.” Leonardo involuntarily whimpered, and Michelangelo felt as if all the air had been punched from his lungs. </p><p>That was the last straw. Michelangelo knew that if he tried to touch Leonardo while he was like this there was a high chance of getting his wrist or at least a finger broken, but well, that was just a chance he was going to have to take.</p><p>“Leo, I’m going to take your hand now,” Michelangelo warned shakily, and he tentatively reached a three-fingered hand out, taking one of Leonardo’s hands from his plastron to turn it and press his palm against his own plastron, directly over his heart. Even though he had heard him Leonardo’s head snapped up as his eyes flashed with terror, and that was all it took for the tears Michelangelo was desperately trying to suppress to start flowing freely. </p><p>“Leo, feel my heartbeat,” Michelangelo ordered wobbly. “You’re not wherever you think you are right now, you’re in your room. You’re safe. I’m not an enemy, I’m Michelangelo, your brother. Let’s breathe to ten, okay?” </p><p>It was only for a fraction of a second, but Michelangelo saw recognition on Leonardo’s face. That was all Michelangelo needed to keep going. </p><p>“Let’s do this together,” Michelangelo continued, using a finger on the hand that held Leonardo’s against his plastron to draw soothing circles on his knuckles. “We can start slow. One. . . two. . . three. . .”</p><p>Michelangelo continued counting, breathing in for ten seconds and then exhaling for five, all the while rubbing circles on his brother’s hand and murmuring positive words. Michelangelo lost track of how long the two sat there, simply breathing. Eventually some of the fog in Leonardo’s eyes cleared and he tried following Michelangelo’s example, normally getting to four seconds on the inhale before he sputtered and had to start again. Michelangelo never said a word, only patiently continuing on. Leonardo couldn’t breathe in for ten seconds, but he was trying, and that was all that mattered. </p><p>Eventually Leonardo could make it to ten seconds without interruptions and Michelangelo saw the last of the attack leave his brother completely. Leonardo slumped where he sat, his face muscles going slack with exhaustion and letting Michelangelo see all the buried emotions Leonardo desperately tried to keep back. Desperation. Fear. Stress. It was quiet for a moment before Michelangelo spoke up. </p><p>“Leo?” he cautiously asked, his voice cracking in the middle of the name. Michelangelo cleared his throat of emotion and tried again. “Are you okay for touch now?” </p><p>Leonardo opened his mouth to respond, but when no sound emerged he just nodded his head, exhausted. Michelangelo wasted no time letting go of his brother’s hand and scrambling closer, wrapping his arms around his older brother and tugging him closer. Leonardo didn’t protest, raising his arms weakly to return the hug to the best of his ability. Michelangelo let out a shaky breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding in, his tears falling before he could stop them. Leonardo noticed this, of course, and pushed away from Michelangelo to look at him with concern. </p><p>“Mikey. . .” Leonardo said softly, resting a hand on Michelangelo’s cheek and using his thumb to wipe away some of the tears that were coming from his blue eyes. Michelangelo bit his lip and wiped his eyes with his arm, attempting to calm himself down. </p><p>“I’m fine,” Michelangelo lied, and it sounded fake even to his own ears. Leonardo raised an eye ridge but didn’t push, choosing instead to pull Michelangelo back into the hug. </p><p>“Thank you, otouto,” Leonardo smiled. “I don’t know what we’d- what <em> I’d </em> do without you.” </p><p>“You guys would starve,” Michelangelo sniffed, and Leonardo’s chuckle vibrated through his plastron calmingly. A comfortable silence settled in the room, until Michelangelo finally gathered enough courage to ask the question that had been buzzing around in his head. </p><p>“When you have your attacks, what do you see?” </p><p>Leonardo was silent for a moment, and Michelangelo guessed he was contemplating his answer. </p><p>“I see That Night,” Leonardo finally whispered, and Michelangelo didn’t ask him to clarify what he was talking about. That Night. The night they almost lost everything, the night they had lost to. . .</p><p>“The Shredder.” Leonardo spat out the name like poison. “I see him cutting into me again and again, an endless repeat.” Leonardo shuddered, and Michelangelo squeezed him harder in encouragement. Once again Leonardo was quiet while he thought, and Michelangelo wasn’t going to push him if he didn’t want to talk about it. </p><p>“Sometimes I wish he had just finished me off that night,” Leonardo muttered bitterly, and Michelangelo froze. His brother’s voice was so quiet it didn’t even qualify as a whisper, and Leonardo realized he had thought aloud a moment later. He pulled away before Michelangelo could himself, looking horrified. </p><p>“Wait, Mikey, I didn’t mean-”</p><p>“How could you?” Michelangelo managed to get out, operation Help Leo Feel Better completely thrown out the window. Michelangelo inwardly winced; wrong choice of words. </p><p>“I didn’t mean to say that out loud,” Leonardo tried to reason, but Michelangelo wasn’t listening. Hurt and confusion twisted a knife through his gut, getting deeper and deeper with every passing second. </p><p>“How could you?” Michelangelo repeated, staring at his brother with eyes blown wide. Leonardo opened his mouth to respond, but Michelangelo beat him to it. </p><p>“Do you even-” Michelangelo began, a thousand thoughts running through his brain. “Do you know- do you-” His plan of speaking failed as all his thoughts tried to get out at once, pushing and shoving each other. </p><p>“How dare you,” Michelangelo finally decided on, and seeing the guilt starting to creep onto Leonardo’s face did nothing to stop him. “How <em> dare </em> you!” </p><p>Michelangelo turned and jumped off the bed before Leonardo could say another word, running out of the room. He could vaguely hear Leonardo calling after him, but he didn’t stop. Raphael and Donatello were watching something in the pit and they both looked at him oddly as he ran by, but he didn’t stop to run into one of his other brothers’ arms. Michelangelo kept running even as his other two brothers began to call out to him as well, bolting out of the lair and into the sewers which would take him to the glowing city above. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Dark clouds were swirling in the city sky when Michelangelo emerged from underground, running as fast as his legs could take him across the rooftops. From the rapidly darkening sky above him Michelangelo guessed the city was due for a downpour, but at the moment he couldn’t have cared less. </p><p>How dare Leonardo say such a thing so easily. </p><p>How <em> dare </em>he!</p><p>Michelangelo wasn’t sure how long he spent racing across the city, his body moving on autopilot as his mind thought furiously. Through the haze of hurt he could vaguely make out someone calling for him, but at the moment it didn’t matter. </p><p>After a half hour or so Michelangelo finally worked up the courage to look behind him, seeing the familiar flash of a blue bandana. His heart jumped with nerves, and Michelangelo tried to convince his legs to move faster. After running out of the lair like that, Michelangelo couldn’t possibly hope to face his brother. </p><p>“Mikey!” Leonardo’s voice finally reached him, and instead of answering Michelangelo swerved to the side, ducking inside an old, empty water tank with its roof missing. It wouldn’t provide much cover in a rainstorm, but it would serve a purpose temporarily. </p><p>Michelangelo sat on the tank’s wooden floor, bringing his knees up to his chest and smushing his face on top of his thighs. He wrapped his arms around his legs and dully noted he was in the same position he had found his brother in. All was quiet except for the noises of the active city around him, still very much awake despite the hour growing late. </p><p>After a while Michelangelo heard someone stepping lightly into the tank behind him, panting. The orange-clad turtle didn’t need to look up to know who it was; he had memorized the presence of his brother long ago. For a few minutes the two didn’t say a word as Leonardo caught his breath, and finally he decided to end the suspense and move forward so he was in front of the turtle on the floor. Hesitantly Leonardo sat in front of Michelangelo, fiddling with his hands awkwardly. </p><p>“Do you even know how lost we’d be without you?” Michelangelo’s voice was so quiet he wondered if his brother had even heard him, but Leonardo answered him after a beat. </p><p>“I’m pretty sure Raph would sleep all day, and Donnie would never sleep at all,” he said wryly and Michelangelo didn’t respond, not getting the answer he was looking for. Silence once again stretched between the two, and the sounds of angry honking carried over from the streets below. </p><p>“Do you know why I offer to sacrifice myself so much?” Leonardo asked suddenly, catching Michelangelo’s attention. Even though he didn’t look up Michelangelo shifted in place to prompt Leonardo to continue. </p><p>“You guys are my entire world,” Leonardo said gently, and Michelangelo heard him sigh. “You guys are all I’ve ever had, you’re the most important thing in the world to me.” Quiet. “I’d rather die than live without one of my brothers.” </p><p>“But what about us?!” Michelangelo finally shouted, looking up with blurry eyes. “What about if you die and we’re left all alone?” </p><p>Leonardo’s lips pushed into a frown. “But you won’t be alone, you’ll have each other.”</p><p>“You still don’t get it!” Michelangelo threw his hands up, exasperated. “All of us agree that it’s better we all die than live without one another!” </p><p>Leonardo looked perplexed, eyes downcast as he thought. Then, finally, “Father once told me it doesn’t matter that the burden is heavy, it matters that I carry it.” Leonardo had Michelangelo’s full attention then. </p><p>“You do realize that’s crazy, right?” Michelangelo said flatly. “It’s not fair to you to have to shoulder everything alone.” </p><p>“But I asked to be leader,” Leonardo argued weakly, already seeming to know he was going to lose. </p><p>“That doesn’t matter,” Michelangelo said with finality. “We’re brothers, we’re family. We shoulder the weight of the world together.” Leonardo looked at his youngest brother before turning his eyes away, wringing his hands together. </p><p>“I know I’m not the best with words, but. . .” Leonardo returned his gaze to the small turtle in front of him. “I would do anything for you guys if it meant you stayed safe, even sacrifice myself. I don’t believe my own worth most of the time, but if you say that I’m important then. . . I’ll believe you.” Leonardo’s lips quirked into a small smile, his eyes calm and certain. “I love you, Mikey. I love you all with everything I’ve got.” </p><p>“Leo. . .” Michelangelo said thickly, moisture covering his eyes again. He flung himself at his brother so fast he barely managed not to pull a muscle, pushing his face into his older brother’s neck just as the tears came again. Leonardo returned the hug without hesitation, the two relishing the warmth the action brought. </p><p>A loud rumble echoed in the air as the sky opened up, releasing the rain to fall down upon New York City and its inhabitants. Within seconds the rain had soaked the two turtles hugging in an old water tank, and Leonardo looked up at the sky with distaste. </p><p>“We should head back, we don’t want Donnie calling and fussing at us about getting sick,” Leonardo suggested and Michelangelo nodded, pulling away and sucking in an unsteady breath. </p><p>“If we get sick Raph would say it’s our fault and refuse to make us soup,” Michelangelo whined, Leonardo scrunching up his nose at the thought. </p><p>“Donnie would scold us for being idiots,” Leonardo joked, which earned him a laugh from the younger. Leonardo stood up first before offering a hand to his sibling, who took it gratefully. Michelangelo noted that Leonardo looked exhausted, and he sympathized. It had been an emotionally taxing few hours. </p><p>Michelangelo followed Leonardo out of the water tank, and Michelangelo didn’t say a word when he noticed Leonardo was moving slower than usual when they ran the familiar path back to their home. </p><p>Their normally peaceful route was shattered by a woman’s scream, and the two brothers slid to a halt. They both moved towards the direction of the sound, peering over the side of a building into a dark alleyway. </p><p>“Shit,” Michelangelo muttered darkly, and for once Leonardo didn’t scold him for language use. A man slowly stalked towards a woman and who Michelangelo assumed was her son due the similarities between them, a butcher's knife held in his right hand tightly. The woman pushed her son behind her in a hurry, holding an arm out to keep her son held back while the other hovered in front of her, as if she could create a forcefield and keep the man back. They were quickly coming to a dead end and would soon be trapped with nowhere to go. </p><p>“S-stay back,” the woman stammered, taking a cautious step back. “We don’t have anything you want.” </p><p>“Don’ say that, miss,” the man slurred as he almost tripped over his own two feet, and Michelangelo guessed he was heavily drunk. “There are always other ways you can. . . entertain me.” The man gave a drunken smirk, and Michelangelo shivered. </p><p>“What do we do?” Michelangelo whispered, glancing at his brother. Leonardo’s eyes were hard as stone, anger flickering in his blue irises. </p><p>“I’ll drop behind him, use the distraction to get the woman and kid out of there,” Leonardo said, and Michelangelo nodded. Leonardo moved swiftly, swooping off the roof and behind the man in one move. The man jumped in surprise but didn’t drop his knife, turning around to see behind him. </p><p>“What the hell are you?” the man laughed as Leonardo glared at him, the rain sliding off his green scales. Michelangelo wasted no time in dropping silently next to the woman, holding a finger to his lips in a shushing motion to keep them from screaming. The woman swallowed visibly before nodding, her son staring at him with wide but unjudging eyes. </p><p>“Don’t you know it’s impolite to advance on a woman without her consent?” Leonardo asked instead of answering the man’s question. The man spread his arms. </p><p>“She didn’t say no,” he grinned, his eyes wide with mania. </p><p>“Unless a woman actually explicitly says, ‘yes,’ it’s a no,” Leonardo said, raising an eye ridge. “But I guess people like you are too stupid to realize that.” </p><p>“Why you. . .!” The man’s face contorted in anger, and he went to slash at Leonardo with his knife but the blue turtle grabbed his wrist, twisting it backwards until the man gave a yelp and was forced to drop his weapon. Michelangelo used the commotion to offer the woman his hand, and although she hesitated, one look at her son seemed to push her to carefully place her hand into Michelangelo’s open palm. He smiled at her with as much kindness he could muster, leading the woman and her son past the man Leonardo was currently taking care of and back to the street. </p><p>“You’re safe now,” he told her when they reached their destination, releasing her hand. “It’s late and you guys are soaked, you’d better get home.” The woman stared at him for a few seconds, as if having an internal debate, before finally shaking her head and giving him a small but grateful smile. </p><p>“Thank you,” she said, nodding her head at him before leading her son down the street and out of sight. Finished with his task, Michelangelo turned back around to see Leonardo had the man pinned to the ground while he sputtered and cursed. </p><p>“You done, bro?” Michelangelo asked cheerfully, and Leonardo glanced up at him. </p><p>“I am, let’s go,” Leonardo answered, elbowing the man hard in the back. The man wheezed before finally going quiet, his eyes sliding closed. Leonardo got off him and gave a little shake in an attempt to get some of the water off him, but his efforts were in vain. The rain was pouring from the sky in a never ending stream, and Michelangelo hoped it didn’t flood the sewers. Leonardo walked past him, gesturing to another alley not too far away with his head. </p><p>“Let’s use that manhole cover over there,” he said, and Michelangelo gave an affirmative nod. The two started to make their way over, and Michelangelo was happy to finally be going home. </p><p>The next few seconds happened in a blur, so fast Michelangelo was half convinced he’d dreamed the whole thing. That was a lie of course, even his active imagination couldn’t fake the terror that zipped through his veins.  </p><p>Leonardo stiffened just as they were about to leave the alley, looking over his shoulder at something behind Michelangelo. His vast sapphire eyes widened, real panic in them. </p><p>“Mikey, look out!” he shouted, rushing forward in an attempt to throw himself in front of his younger brother. Michelangelo barely managed to turn around, seeing the very-conscious drunk man raising a gun directly at him. </p><p>“Michelangelo!” A green blur passed by him just as the first shot rang out, and Michelangelo felt the world stop. A second shot rang out, and Leonardo’s body jerked. A third shot, and Michelangelo forgot how to breathe. </p><p>Even the rain seemed frozen in place as Leonardo stood there in front of the smoking barrel of the gun, arms stretched out wide to shield Michelangelo. The drunk man’s hands shook, hatred on his ugly face. Leonardo’s body swayed and tipped forward, crashing to the ground. The moment his body hit the pavement of the alley time resumed, and Michelangelo felt his eyes widen. </p><p>“Leo!” he cried, surging forward to his brother before he could even fully register he was moving. Leonardo was lying on his right side, his face pressed against the cement with his arm trapped underneath him. </p><p>“No, no, no, no, no,” Michelangelo muttered, his hand hovering over Leonardo with uncertainty. Michelangelo shifted onto his knees and used both hands to move Leonardo as carefully as he could so his eldest brother was cradled against his plastron, Michelangelo’s right arm supporting his brother’s shoulders. Michelangelo used the new angle to survey the damage, and his blood went cold. </p><p>Three bullet wounds on his brother’s front were gushing blood, and Michelangelo guessed all three bullets only pierced his brother’s tough shell due to the close range. The rain continued to relentlessly pound down on the two brothers, carrying away enormous amounts of Leonardo’s blood. </p><p>“Leo,” Michelangelo whimpered and Leonardo coughed up a throatful of blood, which dribbled down the sides of his mouth and onto his neck. He tried to smile at him, but to Michelangelo it only looked like a grimace. </p><p>“Are you. . . hurt?” Leonardo managed to get out before another cough interrupted him. He raised a hand weakly, and Michelangelo took it immediately. </p><p>“Please, Leo, I’m fine but you’re <em> not! </em>” Michelangelo exclaimed, the drunk man all but forgotten. “I’ve gotta call Donnie, I’ve gotta get you help-” </p><p>“Mikey.” Michelangelo released the hand clasping onto his brother’s to reach for his t-phone, but Leonardo raised his freed hand to rest it on Michelangelo’s cheek. Leonardo gave him a look so full of love it made Michelangelo stop to stare at his brother in confusion, but this only seemed to spur Leonardo on further. </p><p>“Mikey, you are the heart of this team,” Leonardo rasped, and Michelangelo wondered if it was really a good time for this. “You’re our sun, always shining so brightly.” </p><p>“Leo, bro, please save your strength,” Michelangelo pleaded, grabbing the hand on his cheek. </p><p>“You give us a reason to keep going, even on the darkest nights.” Leonardo’s eyes were glassy and far away even as they held his gaze, and Michelangelo wasn’t even sure his brother could hear him anymore. “Please, promise me you’ll never change.” </p><p>“Leo-” </p><p>“Please.” It was spoken as a whisper, and Michelangelo heard the desperation behind that one single word. Michelangelo swallowed heavily, nodding his head. </p><p>“I promise,” Michelangelo said and Leonardo sighed, seeming relieved. </p><p>“Thank you. . .” Leonardo closed his eyes, and Michelangelo noticed his brother’s hand was getting heavier. </p><p>“Wait, Leo-” Michelangelo tried to keep his brother’s attention but Leonardo’s hand slipped from his grasp, landing on his bloodied plastron. For a moment no one moved; even the drunkard seemed too surprised to move. Michelangelo stared blankly at his brother’s unmoving body, not even realizing his tears mixing with the rain rolling down the scales on his face. </p><p>The cold, unforgiving end of a gun pressing into the middle of his forehead finally snapped Michelangelo out of his shocked haze. He slowly looked up from his brother’s body to the unreadable face of the drunk man, who was looking at him with disgust. </p><p>“Die, you freak,” the man growled, and he pulled the trigger. </p><p>“<em>Michelangelo! </em>” a familiar voice screamed, and Michelangelo was forced to let go of Leonardo as the force of a bullet sent his body backgrounds, the back of his head smacking against the ground. </p><p>Michelangelo thought he saw a flash of red and purple before he lost consciousness, but that could have just been his imagination. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Michelangelo opened his eyes against the blaring lights of Donatello’s med-bay, his first thought was <em> why am I not dead? </em> His head pulsed along to the beat of his heart, pain starting to trickle into his senses. Michelangelo groaned and tried to lift his arm, only to find it felt heavier than a giant pile of rocks. </p><p>“Mikey!” Raphael’s voice cut through the haze, and Michelangelo managed to open his eyes enough to see his red-clad brother’s worried expression come into his line of sight. Michelangelo cracked a grin. </p><p>“Hey, Raphie,” he said, wincing at how much his throat hurt. For once Raphael didn’t glare at him for the nickname, his shoulders slumping in relief. </p><p>“Holy fuck, Mikey, never scare me like that again,” Raphael growled, but his threatening tone was dwarfed by the obvious relief in his body language. Michelangelo tried to sit up but yelped at a flash of pain, Raphael rushing to his side. </p><p>“You idiot, don’t move yet, Donnie said you have a pretty bad concussion,” he reprimanded, but nevertheless put his hands on Michelangelo’s carapace to ease him into a sitting position, shifting the pillow behind him so he would be more comfortable. Michelangelo grumbled his thanks but Raphael waved him off, clearly trying to play off how nice he was being. </p><p>“What. . . happened?” Michelangelo asked once he was settled, a hand going up to rub his throat subconsciously. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was. Raphael noticed and reached for the glass of water placed next to Michelangelo’s cot, bringing it slowly to Michelangelo’s lips. The younger didn’t try to stop his brother from babying him, knowing his arms wouldn’t be able to hold the glass without shaking and most likely spilling two-thirds of its content all over himself. </p><p>Raphael waited patiently as Michelangelo took long, grateful sips of the water, draining the glass. Raphael set the empty glass back down and intertwined his hands, fiddling with his thumbs. Michelangelo used the silence to study his brother, noticing the sunken bags underneath his normally electric emerald eyes. </p><p>“When was the last time you slept?” Michelangelo piped up, gaining Raphael’s attention. </p><p>“Last night,” Raphael huffed, and Michelangelo raised his eye ridges in suspicion. </p><p>“I meant when was the last time you had a proper night of sleep?” Michelangelo rephrased, and Raphael snorted and refused to meet his younger brother’s eyes. </p><p>“Jeez, you’re starting to sound like Leo,” Raphael muttered, and Michelangelo swore a stone dropped in his stomach. Oh gods. <em> Leo.  </em></p><p>“How is-?” Michelangelo tried to swing his legs over the edge of the bed, but pain made his vision white out. Thankfully, Raphael was there to catch him before he fell flat on his face. </p><p>“Leo’s fine, Jesus, Mikey,” Raphael said, helping his brother back into his previous position. “Think before you act, will ya?” </p><p>“I’m not Jesus, Raphie, but I’d say I’m pretty damn close,” Michelangelo teased, earning him a fond eye roll. </p><p>“Whatever,” Raphael said, but even he couldn’t hide the amused smile he was trying to hide. Michelangelo returned the smile for a second before it dropped, eyes trailing off to trace a crack in the wall. </p><p>“Why am I not dead?” Michelangelo asked quietly, but it felt as if he’d shouted it. Raphael studied him before shifting in his seat, opening and closing his mouth as he decided on what to say. </p><p>“We got there just in time,” Raphael finally decided on. “Good thing, too. April was able to create a forcefield around your head before the bullet reached you, but the force of the bullet impacting with the shield still knocked ya flat.” </p><p>“Oh,” Michelangelo said dumbly. “What about Leo?” Once again Raphael didn’t answer right away, licking his lips to moisten them. </p><p>“It was bad, I’ll admit,” he said, and Michelangelo gulped. “We didn’t have time to get him back to the lab, so Donnie and I dragged you two into an abandoned building due for demolition.” </p><p>“That’s not stupid or anything,” Michelangelo quipped sarcastically. Raphael wisely ignored him. </p><p>“April used those freaky mind powers of hers to remove the bullets since Donnie didn’t have his equipment, and it took an hour since the bullets managed to completely penetrate Leo’s shell,” Raphael said, the volume of his voice lowering. “Donnie managed to stop the bleeding, and after that we carried you two home so Donnie could do his thing with the proper stuff.” Michelangelo nodded, chewing on his lip in thought. </p><p>Leonardo, looking at him as if he fully expected it to be the last time he saw his little brother. </p><p>Leonardo, covered in blood. So, so much blood. </p><p>“How is he now?” Michelangelo asked, clearing the thoughts from his head. </p><p>“Asleep, Donnie said he’d stay clocked out for a few more hours,” Raphael said. “He lost a lot of blood.” </p><p>“He needs the rest,” Michelangelo agreed, Raphael fixing him with an oddly soft look. </p><p>“So do you,” Raphael said, pushing Michelangelo back down on the bed before he could protest. </p><p>“I’m fine, Raph. I don’t need to sleep, I just woke up,” Michelangelo whined, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. </p><p>“Sleep, you idiot,” Raphael said, standing up and walking away. He flicked the lights off on his way out, but left the door open in case Michelangelo needed him or Donatello. </p><p>When Raphael left Michelangelo realized just how tired he was. Sleep pulled at his mind, beckoning to him in a sweet voice. Michelangelo yawned and closed his eyes, smacking his lips together purely for dramatic effect before letting the darkness take over him, feeling his headache begin to disappear. </p><p>When Michelangelo awoke next he was pleasantly surprised to find his head didn’t hurt nearly as much, and his limbs had returned to their normal weight. Someone was humming next to him and Michelangelo turned his head, fully expecting to see Raphael, but was instead met with the sight of Donatello fiddling with something in his hands; most likely a new invention. </p><p>“Let me guess, I’m not gonna be able to touch that?” Michelangelo inquired, Donatello’s head raising at the sound of his immediate younger brother’s voice. </p><p>“Mikey!” Donatello exclaimed happily, quickly setting his new invention safely on the ground before leaning forward and hugging Michelangelo around the neck tightly. Michelangelo let out a small wheeze and awkwardly patted Donatello’s carapace, finding it hard to get air in. </p><p>“Donnie, you’re choking me,” Michelangelo sputtered and Donatello let go instantly, looking sheepish. </p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” he laughed. “I got a little too excited there.” </p><p>“Gee, ya think?” Michelangelo said, coughing. Donnie just smiled, unbothered by the fact he just had his brother in a chokehold. </p><p>“And to answer your question, yes, you are not allowed anywhere near my new invention,” Donatello said. </p><p>“No fair!” Michelangelo pouted, but Donatello’s mind was made. Michelangelo’s brother had that mad scientist look in his eye that every single one of his brothers feared, and Michelangelo hoped Donatello didn’t have any explosions while testing out his new toy that would stink up the lair for days. </p><p>“You hungry, Mikey?” Donatello asked suddenly, and Michelangelo’s train of thought stopped. He hadn’t realized just how loud his tummy was rumbling. </p><p>“Yeah, I am, actually,” Michelangelo confessed. </p><p>“Let’s get you something to eat, then,” Donatello said, standing and helping Michelangelo get to his feet as well. Donatello tried to support Michelangelo’s weight on him but the orange-banded turtle stubbornly began to walk on his own, Donatello sighing in acceptance before following. </p><p>“Where’s Raph?” Michelangelo noticed as they made their way back through Donatello’s lab, the red turtle nowhere to be seen. </p><p>“I kicked him onto the couch before he passed out on the kitchen table,” Donatello informed him. “I used my Doctor Authority Override.” Michelangelo opened his mouth to respond, but as they passed by the last part of Donatello’s lab everything he wanted to say died in his throat. </p><p>Leonardo lay in a special cot right next to Donatello’s desk, thick layers of bandages wrapped around his entire midsection. Even at a distance Michelangelo could see Leonardo was much too pale, and his breathing was too slow to be normal. Donatello followed Michelangelo’s gaze and stiffened. </p><p>Everything came back to slap Michelangelo in the face. </p><p>
  <em> “Mikey, you never cease to amaze me.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You alright, little brother?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Nice shot, Mikey!”  </em>
</p><p><em> “You had </em> two? <em> Where do you keep them?”  </em></p><p>
  <em> “I’m okay, Mikey.”  </em>
</p><p>Michelangelo’s chest squeezed impossibly tight and he suddenly found he couldn’t take air in, his vision blurring. He was vaguely aware of a voice that sounded like it belonged to Donatello calling his name, but Michelangelo wasn’t listening. He was getting dizzy and it was so <em> hot </em> and Leo was right there, Leo was right there Leo was <em> dying- </em> </p><p>“Mikey!” Donatello yelled, placing both hands on the side of Michelangelo’s face and forcing him to look at him. Donatello’s eyes were set in steel. “Look at me, listen to my voice. Leo is absolutely fine, Leo is alright. He’s not going anywhere, I promise. Just breathe. Let’s breathe together, okay?” </p><p>Michelangelo trembled so much he was afraid his knees would give out, but he nodded to the best of his ability and attempted to follow Donatello’s example. Donatello was patient with him like always, exaggerating his breathing to make it easier for Michelangelo to follow. The two stood there for a few minutes as Michelangelo found his breath again, Donatello never breaking eye contact. When Michelangelo could finally breathe without assistance again he felt the familiar tiredness settling in, and he leaned forward to rest his forehead on Donatello’s plastron. </p><p>“Come on, Mikey,” Donatello soothed, rubbing his arms. “Let’s get you something to eat so you’re not dead on your feet.” Michelangelo could only nod glumly, not even complaining when Donatello took his hand and led him out of the lab. </p><p>They walked past the pit and, sure enough, Raphael was snoring away on his plastron, his head underneath a pillow. Michelangelo huffed out a laugh at the sight, feeling a little better at seeing his normally hot tempered brother so content. Michelangelo guessed Raphael was only able to sleep so heavily knowing all of his brothers were safe at home, and it made Michelangelo’s chest swell with warmth. </p><p>“He was really worried, you know,” Donatello cut in as if he could see the thoughts running through his brother’s head. “We both were.” </p><p>“Well you don’t hafta worry anymore, Dee, cause Leo and I are obviously fine,” Michelangelo pointed out, and Donatello gave him a leveled look. </p><p>“Right, you two are just merry.” </p><p>“Exactly!” Michelangelo said, trotting over to the kitchen, and Donatello rolled his eyes before following. As he entered the kitchen Donatello went up behind Michelangelo, swiftly taking the frying pan from his hands before he could turn on the stove top. </p><p>“Donnie!” Michelangelo protested, but Donatello shook his head. </p><p>“As your doctor, it is my job to make sure you don’t do anything stupid. Like try and cook,” Donatello said as Michelangelo gaped at him. </p><p>“That’s poposterous!” Michelangelo declared, throwing his hands into the air. </p><p>“You mean preposterous?” Donatello corrected. </p><p>“Yeah, that,” Michelangelo winked at him, and Donatello sighed. He opened the cabinet before Michelangelo could do anything, shooing him away towards the kitchen stools. Michelangelo muttered under his breath but eventually gave in to Donatello’s renowned “doctor mode,” settling down in a seat and propping his elbows up on the table. He leaned his head in his hands, kicking his feet back and forth as he watched Donatello take premade pancake batter out of the fridge and put some butter in a preheating skillet. Donatello cracked two eggs into the bowl he retrieved earlier, pausing for a moment as he thought before cracking two more. </p><p>“Can we have bacon?” Michelangelo asked hopefully, his eyes shining with anticipation. Donatello didn’t answer but took the bacon out of the fridge, resuming the song he had been humming earlier as he moved around the kitchen. </p><p>Ten minutes later and Michelangelo had a steaming plate of pancakes, bacon and eggs placed in front of him as Donatello dished up his own serving, making another for Raphael to have later and placing it in the fridge. Michelangelo dug in as Donatello sat next to him, sighing happily around a bite of pancake. Donatello snickered but didn’t comment, and the two turtles exchanged idle conversation as they ate. </p><p>“Should we make something special for Leo?” Michelangelo asked, scraping the last of the food off his plate with his fork. It was a tradition they had in their small family that if one of them got hurt, the rest would make them their favorite food and they would eat in a cuddle pile in front of the t.v. </p><p>“Of course,” Donatello said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We can make fish to go over rice with apple pie for dessert.” </p><p>“Don’t you mean <em> I’ll </em> make it?” Michelangelo said dryly, and Donatello smirked. </p><p>“Why of course,” he said, pushing a forkful of pancake into his mouth. “Do you really want Raph and I burning down the lair attempting to cook?” </p><p>“Nope,” Michelangelo agreed as Donatello stood up to place his empty plate in the sink to be washed later. Donatello turned to leave the kitchen, giving Michelangelo a squeeze on the shoulder as he passed by. </p><p>“Oh I forgot to mention this earlier, but no t.v. or reading comic books until your concussion goes away which will take about. . . a week and a half to two weeks,” Donatello said cheerfully, waving a hand in goodbye as he left the kitchen. Michelangelo stopped dead in his tracks with his fork raised halfway to his mouth, eyes widening with horror. </p><p>“<em>What?! </em> Donnie, you can’t do that to me, man!” Michelangelo yelled in indignation, but Donatello had already left for his lab. </p><p>“Donnie, get back here and face me like a turtle!” </p><p>No answer. </p><p>“<em>Donnie! </em>” </p><p>“Sorry, Mikey!” Donatello finally called back gleefully, not sounding sorry in the least. Michelangelo heard his genius brother cackling as he closed the door to his lab, and Michelangelo dropped his head on the table in despair before instantly regretting it as a drum of pain rolled through his skull. </p><p>Michelangelo groaned. Yeah, he was doing just merry.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Michelangelo eventually migrated to the couch where he toyed with the idea of going against Donatello’s orders and watching t.v., but after a headache split his brain in half five seconds into an episode of <em> Krognart: The Barbarian, </em> Michelangelo immediately backtracked and settled for tracing patterns and old scars on Raphael’s shell, who was still sound asleep. </p><p>Mikey was in the middle of running a finger over an old healed crack in Raphael’s shell when two new presences entered the lair. </p><p>“You might wanna escape while Raph’s still asleep, if he wakes up and you’re right on top of him he’ll be more pissed than Donnie when you mess with one of his inventions,” Casey grinned, and Michelangelo brightened. </p><p>“Casey! April!” Michelangelo said happily, using Raphael’s shell as a platform to spring himself forward and land in front of the two teenagers, who smiled at him. Behind them the faint noises of Raphael falling to the floor and colorfully cursing could be heard, but were promptly ignored. </p><p>“I’m glad to see you up and around,” April said, her hands clasped neatly behind her back. “You and Leo gave us quite a scare.” </p><p>“Oh, that’s right!” Michelangelo remembered, beaming at April. “Thanks for saving our shells back there. Seriously, girl, you rock!” </p><p>“It was really no problem at all,” April smiled. “Even though you boys are idiots, you’re sadly my idiots.” </p><p>“Sadly?” Michelangelo repeated, and April winked at him. </p><p>“So, uh,” Casey said, clearing his throat to get the attention of the other two. “How is Leo, anyway? Don seemed pretty worried when we left.” </p><p>“Leo’s fine,” Raphael interjected before Michelangelo could respond, walking up to them while rubbing his head. “It takes a little more than a stupid drunk to take down Fearless.” </p><p>“What ever happened to that guy, anyway?” Michelangelo asked. </p><p>“He was. . . taken care of,” was Raphael’s vague answer, his eyes glinting dangerously. Michelangelo thought it best to drop the subject before he asked anymore questions he didn’t want the answer to. Everyone knew how protective Raphael was even if he tried to play it off, and Michelangelo felt bad for any poor soul that decided to test the limits of that protectiveness. </p><p>“Oh, are Casey and April here?” Donatello opened the door to his lab, rubbing his eyes. One side of his mouth tugged upward despite the exhaustion written clearly in his shoulders, and April waved. </p><p>“Dude, you look awful,” Casey blurted out. Donatello sent a half-hearted glare in his direction, but there was no anger behind it. </p><p>“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed,” Donatello said in a deadpan voice. </p><p>“When’s the last time you slept in an actual bed?” Raphael questioned, and Donatello shrugged. </p><p>“My desk works perfectly fine,” Donatello said, and Raphael sighed in fond exasperation. </p><p>“Donnie, you need to take better care of yourself,” April pointed out, and whether Donatello ignored her or didn’t hear her Michelangelo wasn’t sure. </p><p>“Leo’s awake,” Donatello said, shifting the mood of the conversation in less than a second. Michelangelo felt his heart pound harder in his chest, sweat slicking his palms. Donatello looked over to his only younger brother, his expression gentle. </p><p>“He’s asking for you,” he said, and Michelangelo suddenly found he couldn’t swallow as well as he could a few minutes ago. Raphael noticed his hesitance and pushed him forward, Michelangelo tripping on his feet for a step before he finally regained his balance. He could feel the eyes of Raphael and his two human friends on him as he took the steps up the Donatello’s lab, inhaling deeply before stepping in. Donatello nodded at him and closed the lab door behind him, giving them some privacy just in case Michelangelo started bawling. </p><p>To be fair, it was a good assumption. </p><p>Leonardo was sitting up in his bed, still very much alive. Michelangelo cleared his throat awkwardly, beginning to fiddle with his hands and unsure of what to do. Leonardo noticed him and only let the silence carry for a second before he spread his arms out wide, and Michelangelo broke. </p><p>“Leo!” he wailed, launching himself at his eldest brother. He scrambled into Leonardo’s lap, wrapping his legs and arms around his brother like a koala and burying his face into Leonardo’s neck. Leonardo’s laugh rumbled through his plastron and immediately dispelled any worry, guilt and fear Michelangelo had in him. </p><p>“I’m happy to see you, too, little brother,” Leonardo chuckled, wrapping his arms around Michelangelo and squeezing him as tightly as his injuries would allow. Michelangelo opened his mouth to respond but was surprised when the words didn’t want to form, so he shook his head and put as much emotion as he could muster into the hug in an attempt to say all the things he couldn’t verbally through the action. </p><p>Leonardo understood, of course, and Michelangelo felt Leonardo nuzzle his head fondly. He began drawing small circles on Michelangelo’s carapace, and the smaller turtle’s eyes widened when Leonardo began to sing. </p><p><em> “Nen, nen korori yo, okorori yo. . .” </em> </p><p>Michelangelo hadn’t heard Leonardo sing since before they went up to the surface for the first time. When they were children Leonardo would gather his siblings in his arms whenever they were frightened and sing them old Japanese lullabies their father had taught them, singing in a calming voice until the fear went away. Leonardo’s new voice hadn’t changed that, if anything it only added more emotion to the short but beautiful song. </p><p><em> “Bōya wa yoi koda, nenneshina. . .” </em> Leonardo continued, moving one hand from Michelangelo’s carapace to the back of his head so Leonardo was holding Michelangelo in a protective embrace, warm and full of love. Michelangelo’s eyes glistened, and he wondered what he did to deserve the best big brother in the world. </p><p>
  <em> “Bōya no omori wa, Doko e itta? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ano yama koete, sato e itta.”  </em>
</p><p>Michelangelo felt sleep creeping up behind his eyes, and he yawned before he could stop himself. </p><p>
  <em> “Sato no miyagē ni, nani morōta.”  </em>
</p><p>Michelangelo finally allowed his eyes to flutter closed and he felt Leonardo shift, his older brother turned them on their sides on the cot. Michelangelo brought his knees up to his chest before tucking his head in, forming into a ball against his brother’s plastron on instinct. Leonardo brought his knees up and curled around his younger brother, protecting him from everyone and everything the outside world had to offer. As a final touch Leonardo threw an arm over Michelangelo’s shell, serving as a blanket for his younger brother. </p><p><em> “Denden taiko ni, shō no fue. . .” </em> Leonardo finished slowly, his voice trailing off as sleep drew both of them in. Michelangelo smiled contently, feeling at peace for the first time in days. The last thing Michelangelo heard before stepping into the world of dreams was Leonardo’s soft voice, engraving a memory in Michelangelo’s mind. </p><p><em> “Denden taiko ni, shō no fue. . .” </em>  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The lullaby Leo sings to Mikey is called Edo Komoriuta! Go check it out cause it's a really beautiful song. </p><p>I adore comments so any and all feedback is much appreciated!!</p><p> - Misty</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Leo is a dumbass, more at 6.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Edit: I changed the ending a little bit cause I felt like it was too rushed, so my apologies to those who read it before the change!</p><p>In case you don't catch it there is a POV switch in this chapter from Mikey to Leo!! I tried to make it obvious so this is just in case!!</p><p>This chapter may get pretty dark for some readers and dives into subjects like mental health, so please remember to take breaks if you need to and stay safe, I love you all :D</p><p> - Misty</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So,” Casey drawled, stretching out the word. “Should we like, wake them up?” </p><p>“No way,” Raphael snorted. “Once Leo goes into his ‘overprotective big brother’ mode it’s impossible to get him out of it.” </p><p>“Mikey seems to be enjoying it, though,” April mused, discreetly slipping her phone out of her pocket and taking at least ten pictures for blackmail material. </p><p>“He’s the one who likes physical affection the most out of all of us, so it’s really no surprise,” Donatello sighed. The four had checked on the two recovering turtles after Michelangelo had been quiet for a suspiciously long amount of time, only to find Donatello and Raphael’s youngest brother almost completely guarded from outside view from where Leonardo was circled around him in a protective but comfortable hold. April and Casey were rightfully baffled at the open display of affection, the two humans used to the calm and collected side of the leader in blue. Donatello and Raphael on the other hand, who had both been victims of Leonardo’s sometimes overwhelming protectiveness at numerous times, just shrugged it off and continued on like nothing had happened. </p><p>“This is too cute!” April squealed quietly, taking a few photos with her phone camera. “I’m <em> so </em> saving these pictures onto my computer when I get home.” </p><p>“Don’t let Leo see them,” Raphael smirked. “He might just melt from embarrassment.” </p><p>“Oh, I don’t plan on it,” April fired back, a dangerous glint in her eyes. Donatello and Casey shared a glance, both knowing that Raphael and April were most definitely going to use this against the eldest turtle brother at some point. </p><p><em> Only the gods can save Leo now, </em> Donatello half heartedly grieved for his brother’s pride, getting ready to change Leonardo’s bandages when he woke up. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Leonardo opened his eyes the lab was empty, Michelangelo still sleeping peacefully away against his plastron. A dull throb resonated through Leonardo’s chest and it took him a moment to remember the events of the day before. His cheeks flushed pink as the words he had said to Michelangelo came back to him. </p><p><em> Blood loss apparently makes me run my mouth, </em> Leonardo thought, subconsciously squeaking in embarrassment before he remembered he wasn’t the only turtle in the room. Michelangelo shifted in his big brother’s hold before blinking his baby blue eyes open, cracking a grin once he looked up at Leonardo. </p><p>“Morning, bro,” Michelangelo yawned, and Leonardo released his brother. Michelangelo’s joints popped as he stretched and Leonardo followed his example, his body rejoicing at the movement. </p><p>“Morning,” Leonardo said, rubbing at his eyes to remove any eye crust that might have formed. The throbbing in his plastron from three gaping bullet wounds had subsided to a manageable ache, and although Leonardo knew he would heal faster than a human would Donatello would surely forbid him from training. While any of his other brothers would have been thrilled with the idea of indulging in cartoons all day Leonardo sagged at the thought of sitting around, his body and mind used to exertion. Raphael had his trusty punching bag along with his bike, Donatello had his projects while Michelangelo had enough energy to last him a lifetime. Training and ninjutsu were the only things going for the eldest turtle and without it, Leonardo felt like dead weight. </p><p>The lab door opening interrupted Leonardo’s train of thought, and he looked up to see Donatello striding in. The second to youngest smiled at Leonardo as Michelangelo fell upon him, excitedly asking the purple-clad turtle questions Leonardo couldn’t make out. He thought he heard him mention pancakes once. Donatello just shook his head with an exasperated but fond smile at whatever Michelangelo had asked, his answer making the youngest yell with glee. Leonardo stared blankly at Michelangelo as he dashed out of the lab, shifting his attention to Donatello to give him a questioning gaze. Donatello waved him off, rummaging around his workspace. </p><p>Donatello walked over with what looked like two pieces of plastic, and although Leonardo wasn’t sure what it was needed for he didn’t dare question Donatello’s methods. Donatello had saved his life many times over even if his techniques weren’t always normal, but then again they <em> were </em> giant turtles. Normal was thrown out the window with them. </p><p>“How do you feel today, Leo?” Donatello asked when he reached Leonardo’s makeshift hospital bed, sitting down in the chair next to the cot. Leonardo instinctively held out his wrist so Donatello could check his pulse, the doctor of the family taking it without hesitation. </p><p>“Sore,” Leonardo decided to reply honestly, knowing it best to answer truthfully in situations where Donatello had his doctor personality on. </p><p>“That’s to be expected,” Donatello chuckled, releasing Leonardo’s wrist to stand up and go wash his hands. When he returned he peeled off Leonardo’s bandages, washing all the wounds with clean water before drying them off. </p><p>“You’re one lucky turtle, Leo,” Donatello commented, taking one of the plastic sheet things he had been carrying earlier. “You got shot once in the right mammary region, once in the left inframammary region, and the final bullet found itself in between the epigastrium and left hypochondrium. All of those aren’t very major areas, and your shell really helped in slowing the bullets down.” </p><p>“Uh huh,” Leonardo said, not following his genius brother at all. “That’s cool, Dee.”</p><p>“Right?” Donatello agreed, placing one of the plastic sheets on Leonardo’s plastron. Donatello caught Leonardo staring and grinned. “It’s called a halo plastic seal, they’re sometimes used for bullet wounds to the chest. And you, my friend, have two.” Leonardo nodded, indulging his brother by pretending he understood. </p><p>“Let me know if it gets hard to catch your breath and I’ll remove the seals,” Donatello instructed, finished with putting one seal on and working on the other. </p><p>“I will,” Leonardo promised and Donatello nodded, satisfied. </p><p>“These are only temporary, they’re to help you so air doesn’t escape through the puncture wounds in your chest. You’ll only have these until the wounds heal so your chest doesn’t collapse” Donatello said. He finished dressing the second wound and spread some foggy-looking gel on the third, placing a giant white square bandage over it. </p><p>“All done,” Donatello announced, standing up to wash his hands again. “I’ll have to do that again before dinner too, so don’t go anywhere. I have to change the bandages twice a day until they heal so don’t go very far or else I’ll have to hunt you down,” Donatello joked, but Leonardo heard the threat underlying it and gulped. Donatello probably wasn’t kidding. </p><p>“And no physical exercise and training until I clear you,” Donatello added as if an afterthought, and although Leonardo knew it was coming it didn’t stop his heart from sinking in his chest. An entire week or more of sitting around with nothing to do. </p><p>“Oh don’t give me that look, Leo,” Donatello scoffed, completely ignoring Leonardo’s pleading expression with years of practice. “It’s for your own good. Besides, you’ve been working yourself too hard lately. A little break will be good for you.” </p><p>“But-” </p><p>“No buts, Leo,” Donatello warned, side eyeing him. “I mean it, <em> no training. </em>” Leonardo huffed but didn’t say another word, swinging his legs over the side of his temporary bed and hauling himself to his feet without his body complaining too much. Donatello moved to help him but Leonardo stubbornly shook his head, walking towards the lab door on his own. Donatello rolled his eyes but chose not to comment, following his brother out of the lab and to the kitchen where the heavenly smell of breakfast being made wafted out in waves. Leonardo’s stomach rumbled, and it was then he realized just how hungry he was. </p><p>When they entered they saw Raphael was already at the table, feeding Chompy a lettuce leaf as the little turtle squealed happily. Michelangelo was moving around the stove, singing to himself as he fried eggs and cooked bacon. Leonardo recognized it as Edo Komoriuta, and a strange ball of pride, embarrassment and fondness rolled around his chest. </p><p>Leonardo took a seat beside Donatello as Michelangelo set a plate of pancakes down on the table, and Donatello raised an eye ridge. </p><p>“Didn’t we just have pancakes?” Donatello questioned. </p><p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Dee,” Michelangelo grinned mischievously, and Leonardo chuckled as Donatello pulled a face. </p><p>“Here you are, bro!” Michelangelo said cheerfully, completely ignoring Donatello and returning Leonardo’s attention to him. Michelangelo set down a piping hot plate of pancakes, bacon and eggs in front of Leonardo along with a steaming mug of jasmine tea, and Leonardo’s mouth watered at the smell. He caught a whiff of cinnamon and apples, his eyes widening with realization. </p><p>“Are these. . .?” Leonardo asked, looking up at Michelangelo for confirmation. </p><p>“Apple pie pancakes,” Michelangelo said smugly, puffing his chest out with pride. Leonardo cut a piece of pancake and tried it tentatively, his jaw almost dropping. The fluffiness of the pancake mixed perfectly with the softness of the apple, the cinnamon giving everything a nice bite. Leonardo tried not to eat too quickly, but he let his happiness show on his face to let Michelangelo know his pancakes were a hit. </p><p>“I knew you’d like them,” Michelangelo winked. “I wrote down the recipe so we can make them again.” </p><p>“You wrote with your concussion?” Donatello interjected, his expression torn between anger and worry. Michelangelo wisely took a few steps back, grabbing the skillet and turning on the sink to douse it with cold water as an excuse. </p><p>“It was only a little bit,” Michelangelo tried, but Donatello was having none of it. </p><p>“That’s it, you’re not allowed to cook, either,” Donatello decided, and Michelangelo nearly dropped the steaming skillet in surprise. </p><p>“Donnie!” Michelangelo protested, but said turtle just shook his head. </p><p>“No,” Donatello said, his room leaving no room for compromise. Michelangelo stared at him pleadingly, but Donatello didn’t waver in his decision. Leonardo gave Michelangelo a look of sympathy when his brother turned to him for help, and the youngest’s shoulders drooped. </p><p>“Now what am I gonna do?” Michelangelo whined. “You guys are all gonna starve and then I’ll have no one to annoy!” </p><p>“Oh, shut up,” Raphael finally spoke up, glaring at Michelangelo. “You’re bothering Chompy with all your complaining.” Michelangelo shot Raphael a dirty look and blew a raspberry at him, piling more pancakes onto Leonardo’s plate dejectedly. Leonardo didn’t complain and happily munched on the rare treat, trying to get a little bit of everything in one bite. </p><p>“Yo, Leo, you gonna supervise training today?” Raphael asked. “Not training with us, but supervising?” he added before Donatello could open his mouth, and Leonardo pondered the idea around a particularly big chunk of apple. </p><p>“I guess I could,” he finally decided, looking at Michelangelo. “Although Mikey can’t participate until Donnie clears him.” </p><p>“What?!” Michelangelo cried, whirling around. “Oh, come on! Is there anything I <em> can </em> do?!”</p><p>“You can paint and draw,” Donatello suggested, and Michelangelo froze. </p><p>“Really?” he asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. </p><p>“Yes,” Donatello answered without much interest. “You can also do arts and crafts, but nothing too extreme and if your head starts to hurt you have to stop right away.” </p><p>“I will! Thank you, Dee!” Michelangelo nearly shouted with glee, racing out of the kitchen to get his art supplies. Leonardo stood up to place his dishes in the sink before grabbing the plastic wrap, not feeling like putting the food in containers. He wrapped all the leftovers and stuck them in the fridge, looking over at his two remaining brothers who were still eating. </p><p>“Training in an hour, okay?” he said, and the other two nodded. Leonardo left to go shower after listening to Donatello lengthily explain how to shower without getting his bandages wet, promising to be careful. Leonardo lumbered to Donatello’s lab and grabbed the waterproof bandages he described, sticking them on before making his way to the bathroom. </p><p>Leonardo grabbed a towel before closing the bathroom door before him, not locking it in case one of his brothers needed him while he was in the shower. It wasn’t likely, but Leonardo felt better knowing that his brothers could reach him if need be. </p><p>Leonardo turned on the water and took off his gear while he waited for the water to warm up, hanging his mask on the edge of the mirror in front of the sink. Leonardo stepped over to the tub and felt the stream of water with a hand, turning the knob up a little more before stepping in. Hot water ran over his head and down his carapace, washing away all the dirt and grime on Leonardo’s bruised and aching body. Leonardo took the bar of soap and made a note to put a new one in the shower before running it over his scales, his muscles slowly relaxing for the first time in days. </p><p>Leonardo’s peace was paused when the door opened, and Leonardo didn’t need to look from behind the shower curtain to know who it was. </p><p>“What is it, Mikey?” Leonardo asked, running his hands over his face to wash it. “Do you need the bathroom?” </p><p>“No, I just wanted to ask if you needed any help,” Michelangelo said, and Leonardo was oddly touched by the thought. That alone squashed any irritation Leonardo harbored for being interrupted. </p><p>“I’m fine for right now but thank you, Mikey,” Leonardo said, the edges of his mouth curling into a smile. </p><p>“You sure?” Michelangelo pressed, and the pieces clicked together. </p><p>“I’m sure, Mike, but how about you give me a shell scrub later?” Leonardo suggested, and he could practically feel Michelangelo’s happiness through the shower curtain. </p><p>“Sure, Leo!” Michelangelo chirped, leaving the bathroom and his older brother in peace. The only problem was he forgot to close the door. Which meant all the steam would escape and the bathroom would be left very cold to a very wet Leonardo. </p><p>Leonardo’s eye twitched and he turned off the water, stepping out of the shower and grabbing his towel. He quickly dried off and put his equipment back on, tying his bandana around his head. Leonardo peeled off the water-proof bandages and dropped them into the trash can, hanging his towel on a hook behind the door before walking out of the bathroom and heading to the dojo with hopes of meditating before morning training. </p><p>In the dojo Leonardo bowed in front of his father’s shrine before taking his usual place in front of the dojo tree, exhaling heavily and closing his eyes. Leonardo drifted in the void for a while, his heart not into meditating. Fortunately, he was given an excuse to return to the real world when three colorful auras entered the dojo, each of them bowing to their father’s shrine before two of them sat in front of him and the third sat down next to him, energy radiating off of him in waves. Leonardo opened his eyes and smiled at his family, noticing that Michelangelo had brought a few pieces of paper and a box of crayons with him. Any other day and Leonardo would have scolded him about discipline, but that time Leonardo let it slide. Michelangelo noticed this and beamed at his older brother, who sheepishly tried to overlook the fact that he was being soft. </p><p>“Hajime,” he instructed, and training for the two uninjured turtles began. Leonardo kept a close watch on Michelangelo throughout the session for any signs of a headache, but the orange-banded turtle continued to color and hum happily to himself. Leonardo couldn’t pay much attention to it, but Michelangelo seemed to be drawing a family. </p><p>By the time Leonardo concluded morning training Donatello and Raphael weren’t nearly as exhausted as they normally were after sessions, but Leonardo decided to go easy on them for a day. They really did deserve it, after all. Donatello and Raphael looked curious but didn’t dare speak out, both deciding to take the mercy as it wouldn’t last long. Michelangelo tugged on Leonardo’s arm before the other two could leave, getting his attention. </p><p>“Leo! Leo! Look!” Michelangelo said, proudly holding up his drawing for his older brother to see. It was indeed a very impressive and detailed drawing of a family, a family of four turtles. <em> Our family, </em> Leonardo noticed. </p><p>In Michelangelo’s drawing Leonardo stood in the center, his head bowed with his eyes closed. A gentle smile was drawn on his lips, giving drawing-Leonardo’s face an air of warmth and caring. His brothers were crowded around him, all of them hugging him tightly with smiling faces. Michelangelo was on his left side while Donatello was on the right, Raphael hugging drawing-Leonardo’s middle. Drawing-Leonardo had one hand on Michelangelo’s shell and the other on Donatello’s, a blue sky with fluffy clouds set up as the background. The words “Leo - the best big brother, leader and sensei in the universe!” were scribbled on top, most likely the piece’s title. </p><p>Leonardo felt his throat close up with emotion, gingerly setting the drawing on the ground so it wouldn’t get crumpled as he rubbed Michelangelo’s head fondly. </p><p>“It’s amazing, Mikey, I love it,” Leonardo said thickly, finding his voice again. He grinned at his littlest brother and stood up, going over to the shelf in the dojo that held some of their families dearest possessions. Leonardo felt around the lower shelf until he found an empty frame that would be able to fit the drawing, sliding the paper into the frame with a care master Splinter would have been proud of. </p><p>“Leo, what’re you doing?” Michelangelo asked in confusion, going to stand next to his brother as Leonardo delicately placed the frame next to the picture of them when they were children, right after they received their bandanas. </p><p>“I’m adding another piece of art to the shelf,” Leonardo responded simply. “I want to look at it whenever I’m in the dojo and be reminded I have the best brothers in the world.” Michelangelo grinned so wide Leonardo was afraid he would split a lip, and before he knew it Michelangelo was in his arms. </p><p>“You’re the best, bro!” Michelangelo nearly squealed, squeezing Leonardo tightly until Donatello tugged him away, scolding him about Leonardo’s still-healing injuries. </p><p>“God, you’re such a sap,” Raphael teased and Leonardo winked at him before leaving the dojo, Raphael at his heels. They spotted Donatello still lecturing Michelangelo about the importance of letting wounds heal while the orange-clad turtle pouted on the couch, and Leonardo stifled a laugh. Raphael went over to the couch to laugh at Michelangelo, who’s loud protests carried over the entire lair. Leonardo rolled his eyes in part amusement, part annoyance, but not breaking up the squabble. </p><p>Yes, he really did have the best brothers in the world. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Mikey!” Raphael roared, chasing the orange turtle around the lair with murder in his eyes. Leonardo and Donatello watched the scene with exasperation, shooting each other a look. The lush pink sequins and plastic jewels glued onto Raphael’s shell caught the light of the lair, giving the hot-headed turtle the appearance of an angry pink disco ball. </p><p>“You can’t catch me, Raphie!” Michelangelo taunted as he changed course straight for his two remaining brothers. He ducked behind Leonardo, using the leader as a shield against the rapidly approaching Raphael. When the red-banded turtle was in range Leonardo carefully reached out a hand and placed it on Raphael’s plastron, keeping him from coming any closer. </p><p>“Move, Leo, I’m gonna pound Mikey so hard he sees stars for the next week,” Raphael seethed, and Leonardo inwardly sighed. </p><p>“Calm down, Raph, I’ll help you get all the glue off,” Leonardo said as Raphael struggled to reach behind him, his older brother’s hand on his plastron restricting his movement. </p><p>“I can whip up something to help it dissolve better in my lab,” Donatello suggested as a peace offering as Michelangelo continued to cower behind Leonardo. </p><p>“It was only a prank, Raph, no need to get so worked up,” Leonardo said tiredly, done with the entire situation. It had been a week since the accident, and Michelangelo had been going a little stir-crazy not being able to do any of his normal pastimes. His solution had been to prank Raphael and the rest of his brothers without mercy. Leonardo had found that the pranks Michelangelo inflicted upon him took no more than a few minutes to fix and didn’t mess with him too much, and Leonardo guessed that Michelangelo still felt guilty. Poor Raphael, however, had not been so lucky. </p><p>“You’re not the one looking like a fucking fairy dress!” Raphael grunted, making a grab for Michelangelo but the younger dodged at the last second. Leonardo sighed outwardly that time, glancing at Donatello. The genius nodded and took Raphael’s wrist, dragging him off to his lab with him. Raphael left a colorful string of curses in his wake but complied, and Leonardo had a feeling it wasn’t over by a long shot. </p><p>Leonardo finally relaxed when the door to Donatello’s lab closed, cutting off Raphael and his rather intense word choice with it. The blue turtle turned around to face Michelangelo, crossing his arms and letting his displeasure show in his expression. Michelangelo laughed nervously and shrunk in on himself, tapping his fingers together. </p><p>“So. . .” Michelangelo started, stretching out the word and clearing his throat awkwardly. “Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it?” Leonardo raised an eye ridge, not impressed, and Michelangelo gulped. </p><p>“Mikey, we’ve talked about this,” Leonardo said, running a hand over his face. “You know pranks get Raph riled up. We should be fighting our enemies, not ourselves.” </p><p>“But I can’t resist!” Michelangelo groaned dramatically. “Raph is just so fun to prank!” </p><p>“But that doesn’t make it right,” Leonardo said sternly. Michelangelo looked down in shame and Leonardo internally squirmed, his leader and brother instincts warring with each other. </p><p>“It’s alright, Mikey, I’m not mad,” Leonardo said, his older brother instincts winning the battle. Michelangelo looked up hopefully at him and Leonardo smiled, rubbing his younger brother’s head affectionately. However, something made him frown. </p><p>Michelangelo’s skin seemed too warm, even after being chased by an angry Raphael around the lair. Leonardo examined his brother’s face and noticed his cheeks looked just a little flushed, and if Leonardo hadn’t known to look for it he probably never would have noticed it. </p><p>“Mikey, are you feeling okay?” Leonardo questioned, Michelangelo giving him a questioning look. </p><p>“I feel fine, bro,” Michelangelo answered in his usual happy voice. “Why’d you ask?” </p><p>“Let me know if you start feeling bad, okay?” Leonardo ordered, and Michelangelo gave him a mock salute before Leonardo let him go. Leonardo watched him walk away, searching intently for any sway in his brother’s gait, but he found none. Leonardo shook his head in an attempt to scatter his worries. He was just being overprotective, Michelangelo was fine. </p><p>Later that day they were gathered in the pit with a de-glittered Raphael and a smug Michelangelo, the two glaring at each other while Leonardo put on a cheesy movie to watch and Donatello fiddled with something in his hands. Leonardo moved to sit on the couch and expected Michelangelo to take his normal seat in front of the t.v. with the goal of as close to it as possible before his brothers scolded him, but instead Michelangelo shifted next to Leonardo and snuggled into his side. Leonardo was surprised but pleased; his brothers didn’t usually show such open displays of affection. Even Michelangelo, the turtle who liked physical contact the most, liked to keep his distance most of the time. Leonardo draped his arm over Michelangelo’s shell and smiled to himself as the movie started to play, not really paying attention to it. </p><p>Raphael got up to make popcorn ten minutes into the film, coming back with two steaming bowls and soda. He gave one bowl to his brothers and kept one for himself, which earned him an exasperated glare from Leonardo. Michelangelo and Donatello didn’t eat that much, and while Leonardo wasn’t surprised by Donatello, it was normally Michelangelo who consumed half the bowl before Leonardo even had the chance to eat one kernel. Halfway through the movie Leonardo heard Michelangelo’s even breathing next to him, indicating that the youngest turtle had fallen asleep. That was the last pushing point for Leonardo. </p><p>Leonardo moved his arm so he could move to feel Michelangelo’s forehead, frowning at the warmness that met his hand. </p><p>“Donnie, does he feel warm to you?” Leonardo asked, turning to look at the purple-clad turtle. Donatello’s expression was curious as he went over to them, placing his hand on Michelangelo’s forehead like Leonardo had done. </p><p>“He does,” Donatello frowned. “He might’ve caught something when you two stood around in the rain for a few hours last week.” </p><p>“Oh,” Leonardo said dumbly, feeling oddly guilty. </p><p>“Is he gonna be okay, Don?” Raph asked gruffly and Donatello stood up, tapping his chin. </p><p>“It seems like only a cold, he should be fine,” he said, turning towards his lab. “I’ll go try and see if I have some medicine around my lab. Leo, do you mind carrying him to his room?” </p><p>“Sure,” Leonardo replied, grateful to be doing something. Leonardo put one hand on Michelangelo’s should to keep him steady while he stood up before swooping down to scoop his brother up in a bridal carry, the movie playing in the background completely forgotten. Raph watched them go with an even expression, but Leonardo knew that their brother was worried. </p><p>Leonardo made his way towards the bedrooms and nudged open the door to Michelangelo’s room with his foot, careful not to move his brother too much. Different toys and pairs of human underwear were scattered along Michelangelo’s messy floor and Leonardo took caution not to step on any of it, making his way to the bed slowly. Leonardo set Michelangelo down and pulled the blanket up to just below his chin, and the youngest snuggled into the soft fabric on instinct. Leonardo ran a hand over his brother’s head once before preparing to stand up before Michelangelo’s face scrunched up and he sneezed - right in Leonardo’s face. </p><p>“Mikey,” Leonardo groaned even though his brother couldn’t hear him, wiping the back of his hand over his face in a futile attempt to rid of the mucus that had been sneezed on him. Leonardo stood up straight and made the trek back to the hallway, reaching his destination without too much trouble. Leonardo carefully closed Michelangelo’s door behind him, making sure to keep it cracked in case his brother needed them or was alarmed by waking up in the dark. </p><p>Leonardo walked back to the pit, seeing the credits of the movie on the t.v. rolling down the screen. Raphael and the two empty popcorn bowls had disappeared, and Leonardo hoped Raphael had actually put the dishes in the dishwasher instead of just putting them in the sink for one of his brothers to wash later. Although it would have been a nice surprise Leonardo didn’t get his hopes up, knowing it wasn’t likely. Donatello walked by and Leonardo turned to him, putting a hand on his shoulder to make sure his genius brother’s attention was entirely on him. </p><p>“You find anything?” he asked, and Donatello, to his surprise, shook his head. </p><p>“No, which is really odd,” Donatello said, voicing Leonardo’s thoughts. “Normally I’d have a stock of medicine in the back with some antibiotics, but it’s empty. I hadn’t realized it’d been that long since I went on a supply run.” </p><p>“Do you need me to go up to the surface for you?” Leonardo offered, but Donatello shook his head. </p><p>“It’s probably just a common cold, it should go away on its own within a week or so,” Donatello said before grinning wryly. “Although colds have been known to cause headaches, and doubled with his concussion. . .”</p><p>“Oh boy,” Leonardo muttered. There was going to be no escaping from Michelangelo’s whining now. </p><p>“I’m going to go check his temperature right now,” Donatello said, holding up a thermometer in his hand. “I’ll let you know what comes up.” </p><p>“Thank you, Donnie,” Leonardo thanked sincerely, and Donatello nodded before walking in the direction Leonardo had just returned from. Raphael re-emerged from the kitchen munching on one of the chocolate chip cookies Michelangelo had made the week prior, shooting Leonardo a look. </p><p>“Donnie said he’s probably fine,” Leonardo said, and Raphael nodded before making his way to the pit, probably to turn on another movie. </p><p>“He better be,” Raphael threatened casually, but Leonardo paid it no mind. Instead of joining his red-clad brother Leonardo went back to his room, suddenly feeling exhausted. On the way he passed by Donatello, who was looking at a thermometer. </p><p>“He’s reading at around eighty three degrees Fahrenheit, and since eighty one is a good temperature for us I’m not too worried yet,” Donatello said, returning his attention from the thermometer to his brother. “You going to bed?” </p><p>“Yeah, I’m feeling pretty tired,” Leonardo admitted, and Donatello smiled in understanding. </p><p>“Alright. Goodnight, Leo,” he said, leaving the designated sleeping area of the lair. </p><p>“Goodnight, Dee,” Leonardo returned, stepping into his room and shutting the door fully closed behind him. Leonardo stripped off his equipment and crawled underneath his <em> Space Heroes </em> blanket, exhaling deeply. Thoughts swirled around his head with the goal of keeping him awake and his injuries began to feel the sharp sting of pain again, and Leonardo found it difficult to close his eyes. The unsettling image of Michelangelo asleep against his side during a movie of all things played in front of Leonardo, and the familiar feeling of worry tugged at his stomach. It might have been his anxiety, but Leonardo had an uneasy feeling about the whole situation. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Leonardo pressed another soaked washcloth against Michelangelo’s forehead, the latter shivering at the coolness of the rag. Donatello was searching his lab for something Leonardo couldn’t quite remember and Raphael had gone to get more cold water, leaving Leonardo alone in the pit. </p><p>Michelangelo’s cold had developed into something worse over the course of a week and they had moved him to the couch so they could watch him easier, the orange-clad turtle’s fever jumping up to eighty six degrees and refusing to break. Michelangelo’s breath left his throat in raspy breaths, Leonardo resisting the urge to wince with every rise and fall of his brother’s chest. Donatello had theorized Michelangelo’s cold had evolved into strep throat, which Leonardo didn’t like the sound of. </p><p>“Nothing,” Donatello said incredulously, returning from his lab and looking disappointed. “Not a single bottle of antibiotics in my entire lab’s stock.” </p><p>“Really?” Leonardo asked, confused as to how Donatello let his supplies get so low. </p><p>“Really,” Donatello huffed in frustration. “Someone should take away my status as family doctor for this outrage.” </p><p>“Don, it’s not your fault, you didn’t know,” Leonardo soothed, taking the washcloth away from Michelangelo’s forehead to soak it again. Donatello’s eyes skirted over Michelangelo as he silently calculated, and Leonardo knew better than to interrupt him. </p><p>“I’ll have to make a supply run to the surface,” Donatello finally said, the displeasure in his tone telling that it was the last possible thing he wanted to do. “However with winter coming fast the rain we’ve been having is going to start turning to snow soon, and it’s dangerous for us to be out in that weather.” </p><p>“I can go,” Raphael interjected, returning with another bowl of cold water. He set it down on the floor next to Michelangelo’s sleeping form and moved the old bowl to the side to be taken away to be dumped out later. </p><p>“No, I won’t risk you getting sick either,” Donatello said before Leonardo could, and Raphael huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. </p><p>“If not me, then who?” Raphael pointed out. “Leo just got the all clear to move around since his wounds have mostly healed, but that doesn’t mean he can do it. And we need you here.” </p><p>“Hey,” Leonardo protested tiredly, but his brothers paid him no attention. </p><p>“I’ll do it,” Donatello said with finality. “I’m the only one that knows what we need, and you guys should survive a few hours without me.” </p><p>“Donnie-” Raphael started, but Donatello cut him off with a look. </p><p>“I’m going, Raph,” Donatello snapped, before softening his tone at Raphael’s shocked look. “I have to. This is mostly my fault in the first place.” </p><p>“No, it’s not,” Leonardo said, nudging Donatello’s arm so he would look at him. “This isn’t a blaming game, Mikey wouldn’t want us to fight like this over him.” At the mention of the youngest Donatello looked down at the sleeping turtle on the couch, a faraway look in his eyes. </p><p>“You’re right,” Donatello said. “I’m going to go make a list of the antibiotics we need so I can leave as soon as possible.” With that the purple turtle returned to his lab once again, leaving his other brothers to watch him leave. Leonardo shot Raphael a quick glance, making his decision at his brother’s worried expression. </p><p>That night Leonardo snuck out of his room and into Donatello’s lab, seeing his younger brother passed out on his desk like Leonardo had expected. Leonardo crept over to Donatello’s desk and spotted his prize: a small list of antibiotics Donatello needed for their younger brother. Leonardo took the list and tucked it safely into his belt, glancing at Donatello before leaving the lab and heading towards the lair exit. </p><p>“Sorry, Dee,” Leonardo whispered, ducking his head and slipping out of the lair. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Leonardo’s breath left his lungs in white clouds, circling around his head like a halo before being swept away by the wind as Leonardo ran across the rooftops of New York. Donatello had been right; winter was starting to set into the city, dropping the temperature and causing more and more people to stay inside where it was warm. Leonardo was positive that if Donatello were there he would have said the humans that stayed inside were smart, unlike his eldest brother. Leonardo let out a breathy laugh at the comedic scene that played in his mind due to the thought, imagining a chibi-like version of his brother smacking him over the head. </p><p>Something cold landed on Leonardo’s nose and he looked up, torn from his imagination. Frozen droplets of white were gently falling through the sky, sprinkling the slumbering city like a dusting of powdered sugar. </p><p>“Donnie was right again,” Leonardo mused to himself, not surprised in the least. The cold began to nip at Leonardo’s skin, reminding him to hurry. </p><p>Leonardo jumped down into an alley where he would be more protected from the cold, pulling Donatello’s list out of his belt. <em> Penicillin or amoxicillin </em> was written on the paper in Donatello’s neat handwriting, and Leonardo pocketed the list again. He scanned the area for humans before scaling the side of the building to return to the rooftops, setting a course for the local pharmacy. Leonardo wasn’t sure what penicillin or amoxicillin were, but he would search the entire store if it meant keeping his little brother safe. </p><p>When Leonardo reached his destination he jumped down from the roof and crouched behind a side exit, scanning for security cameras. He spotted one above the door he needed to enter through but no others, so Leonardo assumed the rest were inside. Disabling the cameras would alert the local authorities so instead Leonardo pulled a small knife from his belt, only using one arm and staying flat against the building while he worked on the lock. He was met with a satisfying <em> click </em> a few seconds later, and Leonardo turned the knob and crept into the building without a sound. </p><p>Inside Leonardo saw multiple rows filled with various medicines and products, each row around six feet high. Leonardo paled slightly at the thought of checking every single row, but he reminded himself why he was doing this. <em> For Mikey, </em> Leonardo thought. </p><p>Leonardo snuck around the store in between the rows, being mindful of cameras and other obstacles that could give his presence away. As he wandered Leonardo scanned each row, looking for the section that could have what he needed. Once Leonardo passed a bag of cough drops and put them in his belt, know they might be useful later. </p><p>After around thirty minutes of searching Leonardo was rewarded for his work, finally finding the section labeled “antibiotics”. Leonardo stuck out his tongue as he rapidly searched for either of the two antibiotics on Donatello’s list. Leonardo made a small noise of glee in his throat before he could stop himself when he found a bottle of penicillin, relief pushing a lot of anxiety off his shoulders. Leonardo tucked the bottle into his belt with the cough drops before going to the front of the store to leave some money on the counter, hoping the store owners would forgive him for intruding like a petty thief. </p><p>Leonardo exited the way he entered, locking the door behind him in case someone with more sinful intentions came along during the night. Leonardo made sure to keep himself out of sight from the remaining cameras as he climbed the side of the building to the rooftop, content with his supply run. The snow that had barely been falling from the sky an hour ago was starting to fall down considerably faster, the wind wiping back and forth and a good three inches or so of snow piled onto the ground. Leonardo figured they were due for a winter storm, and made a mental note to get the heaters out of the storage closet. </p><p>Leonardo headed in the direction of the usual manhole cover he took to get home, pulling out his t-phone to check the time. The screen flashed and showed the time 3:27 a.m., still early enough that Leonardo could get some sleep when he arrived home. </p><p>Leonardo absentmindedly jumped across an alley while still paying attention to his t-phone, scrolling through his notifications to see if any of his brothers had attempted to contact him. Sure enough, six new messages from his brothers were there, and Leonardo mentally prepared himself before opening them. </p><p> </p><p><em> Genius: </em> dude where are you</p><p><em> Genius: </em> and where is my list</p><p><em> Genius: </em> Leo you better answer me</p><p><em> Genius: </em> Leonardo if you don’t answer your phone right now I stg</p><p><em> Angry gremlin: </em> where the fuck are you</p><p><em> Angry gremlin: </em> come back now</p><p> </p><p>Leonardo shifted his phone in his hands so he could reply, leaping over another alleyway. Before Leonardo could even type one letter he landed on the edge of the building, ice buildup slicking the concrete so it was like a bar of soap. Leonardo fell backwards with a squawk, his phone flying out of his hands and he flailed his arms in an attempt to latch onto something. Leonardo almost regained his balance but a beat of pain from his wounds made him seize up, and the next thing Leonardo knew he was falling. His hands were only met with empty air, and Leonardo’s shell took most of the impact as he crashed into the pavement below. His t-phone landed next to him, the screen smashing. </p><p>Leonardo shook his head in an attempt to clear the fog from his mind, a creaking sound forcing him to open his eyes. Above him an awning was groaning with the weight of snow on it, and before Leonardo could move the awning broke and dumped a mountain of snow on top of him. The cold immediately seemed to seep into Leonardo’s very soul, clinging to him and refusing to let go. Leonardo sat up and dusted some of the snow off him, another moan from overhead making alarm whip through Leonardo’s body. He quickly rolled to the side just as the awning gave in and crashed to the ground, landing in the exact same spot Leonardo had been occupying not even seconds ago. </p><p>“That was way too close,” Leonardo huffed to himself, glancing sadly at his t-phone that was broken beyond repair. Donatello was <em> not </em> going to be happy with him. At the thought of his brother Leonardo searched his belt in a panic, breathing a deep sigh of relief when he found that the penicillin and cough drops had not been damaged. </p><p>“I should probably go home,” Leonardo thought aloud, looking down at the manhole cover a few feet away from him. With winter trying to kill him, Leonardo deducted it would be safer to just travel in the sewers. </p><p>Leonardo went down the ladder and dropped down into the familiar place he called home, setting off for the lair in a run. He just hoped Raphael and Donatello wouldn’t be too mad. </p><p>When Leonardo finally arrived home he was met with the blazing face of Donatello, who for once was more angry than their resident hot-head. </p><p>“Leonardo Hamato, if you <em> ever </em> pull a stunt like that again,” Donatello threatened through gritted teeth as Leonardo sheepishly walked into the living room, smiling nervously. </p><p>“Please, Donnie, allow me,” Raphael interrupted, placing a hand on Donatello’s shoulder before glaring at his older brother with so much force Leonardo actually took a step back in fear. </p><p>“Leo, if you ever do that again, I will personally turn you into a custom-made purse for Mikey,” Raphael said with all the pleasantry of a blade, and Leonardo gulped. </p><p>“Sorry, guys, I know it was stupid,” Leonardo said as a compromise, but his brothers were not having it. </p><p>“Stupid doesn’t even <em> begin </em> to cover it,” Donatello said in exasperation, his anger replaced with his usual worry. “You could have gotten hurt! Not to mention all the illnesses you could have possibly contracted up there!” </p><p>“Well, I did fall off a roof,” Leonardo said before he could shut his mouth, hurriedly reaching into his belt when he saw his brothers freeze. “Anyways, I got these for you. Don’t worry, I paid for them.” Leonardo pulled the antibiotic and cough drops out to show Donatello, who snatched them from his brother and gave him the side-eye as he turned around towards the pit. </p><p>“This conversation isn’t over,” Donatello warned, and Leonardo inwardly resigned himself to his fate. There was no escaping Donatello now. </p><p>The genius of the family set the antibiotics next to the youngest before going into his lab to grab a syringe from his supplies. Leonardo and Raphael both watched him intently when he returned and kneeled in front of where Michelangelo was still sleeping, raising the bottle and inserting the needle inside to pull the antibiotic into the syringe tube. </p><p>“Is he gonna be okay, Dee?” Raphael asked, and Donatello searched Michelangelo's arm for a vein before pushing the needle into their brother’s green skin and giving him the antibiotics. </p><p>“Only time can really tell now, but I think so,” Donatello concluded, and Leonardo and Raphael both let out sighs of relief. The whole thing seemed a little anticlimactic, but Leonardo was absolutely not complaining. </p><p>Michelangelo shifted underneath his blankets and Leonardo stepped forward, pulling them up further so Michelangelo was almost non-visible. Michelangelo smiled in his sleep and let out a little chirp, the way he used to do when he called for. . .</p><p>Leonardo froze, and so did his brothers. Michelangelo used to chirp like that all the time when they were younger when he was calling for their father. To hear it here and now. . .</p><p>Leonardo felt as if the room was closing in and all of a sudden everything was too much, too much and it was too <em> cramped </em> and he needed to <em> get out- </em> </p><p>“I’m going to the dojo,” Leonardo said quietly and he made a beeline for one of the only places he felt truly safe in, his brothers staring after him. Leonardo didn’t turn around to see what their expressions were like, too afraid of what he might see. </p><p>Leonardo entered the dojo and closed the door shut behind him before he made his way across the room, kneeling in front of the tree in the dojo and bowing his head. A laugh bubbled up from his throat, broken and empty, rising up again and again until Leonardo’s stomach ached and he had tears in his vast sapphire blue eyes. Leonardo threw his head back in a laugh and he stared up at the dojo ceiling, his twisted grimace of a smile falling. Leonardo felt his tears break free from his eyes and streak down his cheeks as a sob ripped out of him, and he grabbed his arms and curled in on himself as salty tears trickled into his mouth between gritted teeth. Without thinking Leonardo struck out at the trunk of the tree he had admired so much as a child, a thousand emotions all fighting for control inside him. When Leonardo’s fist connected with the bark every dark part of himself seeped out, staining his mind in black. </p><p><em> Useless. </em> How did he ever think he could actually be the Hamato clan leader? Leonardo wanted to pinch himself for being so stupid. </p><p><em> You can never be sensei. </em> No matter what he did, Leonardo would never be able to train his brothers like their father did. He was too inexperienced, he wasn’t ready. He was going to get his brothers all killed. </p><p><em> Shredder should have just finished you off back then. </em> If he had, they wouldn’t be in this mess. His brothers would have figured something out, they didn’t need him. </p><p><em> Do you </em> actually <em> think you can ever be a good leader? Laughable. </em> Leonardo’s decisions had gotten his brothers hurt on too many occasions, it was only a matter of time before one of them didn’t come home. </p><p><em> You fail at everything you do. You know they’ll abandon you eventually. </em> Leonardo’s eyes snapped open. He hadn’t even realized he’d closed them. The darkness smiled, inching closer. </p><p><em> Lame-o-nardo. </em> The darkness snaked its arms around Leonardo’s trembling mind, coiling tight so he couldn’t escape. A small part of him knew these thoughts weren’t true, but Leonardo was just so <em> tired. </em> He didn’t want to fight anymore. </p><p><em> Once your brothers discover how pathetic you are they’ll leave you for sure. It’s not a matter of if, but when. </em> The darkness covered Leonardo’s mind, and Leonardo couldn’t tell if it was the world shaking or him. </p><p>“Shut up!” Leonardo howled, his punches picking up speed. “Shut up, shut up, <em> shut up </em>-!” He couldn’t feel his arms, everything was numb. He couldn’t see a thing, only blackness. Leonardo was drowning, darkness filling his lungs and thoughts. </p><p>Through the void Leonardo sensed a familiar calm presence, crouching down next to him and gently grabbing his wrists to stop Leonardo’s rage in its tracks. A warm hand was placed on the back of his shell, grounding Leonardo back to reality. </p><p>“Leo, please look at me,” Donatello said softly, and even in his haze Leonardo didn’t miss the concern in his younger brother’s voice. Leonardo quickly shook his head, afraid to see what face Donatello was making at him. </p><p><em> He’s probably disgusted, </em> the darkness whispered in his ear. </p><p>“Leo, open your eyes,” Donatello tried again, his tone a tad bit more commanding than before. Leonardo hesitated for a moment before finally cracking one blue eye open, taking in Donatello’s highly worried expression. Leonardo opened both eyes again and Donatello smiled at him, the hand that was still on Leonardo’s shell moving to rest on his cheek. </p><p>“Don. . . nie?” Leonardo managed to scrape out, unsure of how to use his voice. Donatello nodded, leaning forward to press his forward against Leonardo’s. </p><p>“Hey, onii-chan,” Donatello whispered, and Leonardo felt some of the night in his chest hiss and pull back. It had been so very long since any of his brothers had referred to him by the term of endearment, and Leonardo was comforting by the nickname. </p><p>“Jeez, you’re really trying to make my hair turn gray, aren’t you?” Donatello asked sarcastically, and Leonardo chuckled weakly. </p><p>“Sorry, Dee,” Leonardo said through a sigh, shifting closer to his brother. </p><p>Fully focused again Leonardo realized his hands had begun to sting, and he glanced down at them. Both of his knuckles were split open, showcasing a clear view of white bone. Blood trailed down his fingers to the floor mats of the dojo, and Leonardo inwardly groaned at the thought of cleaning it up later. Leonardo cleared those thoughts from his head by sliding his eyes over the tree he had previously been beating up, seeing two small indents the exact same size of his fist in the side of the trunk covered in a layer of red. </p><p>“I messed up again, didn’t I?” Leonardo asked quietly, and Donatello quickly shook his head. </p><p>“Venting your emotions isn’t messing up, Leo,” Donatello said. “Sure there are less painful ways to do it, but it’s still a good thing either way.” </p><p>“But I’m the leader,” Leonardo said. “I have to be calm and collected.” </p><p>“That may be true, but you were our brother before you were our leader, Leo,” Donatello reminded him. “Same with being sensei. You were first and foremost our brother right from the start before you even <em> got </em> those burdens, and that’ll never change. You’ll still be our brother no matter what.” </p><p>Leonardo pondered Donatello’s words, mulling them over. He felt like he should respond, but Donatello beat him to it once again. </p><p>“You’re not useless,” Donatello murmured, and Leonardo stiffened. “You’re not a failure, and we would never, <em> ever </em> abandon you. Ever. You’re good enough and you always will be, no matter what happens. You’re our sensei and the best big brother we could ever ask for. We love you, Leo.” </p><p>Leonardo’s breath caught in his throat as tears threatened to return again, and Donatello must have sensed it because he moved his hand from Leonardo’s cheek to the back of his head, pulling his big brother in close. Donatello placed his chin on top of Leonardo’s head and stroked his shell, and a gate opened in Leonardo. </p><p>Leonardo’s shoulders hunched with a sob, and Donatello said nothing as his brother’s tears and blood wet his plastron. Donatello radiated warmth and security and Leonardo basked in it, realizing not for the first time just how lucky he was to have brothers that understood him so well. </p><p>Leonardo stayed pressed against Donatello until his hands felt like they were covered in acid and Leonardo sniffed before leaning away, wiping his nose with the back of his hand and only succeeding in smearing blood across his face. </p><p>“Let’s go get you cleaned up,” Donatello suggested, and Leonardo didn’t protest when he hauled them both past the pit where Michelangelo was still sleeping and to the purple-clad turtle’s lab. They passed by Raphael who said nothing, but Leonardo could tell by their brother’s expression he had been waiting for Donatello to reemerge with their eldest brother for quite some time. Leonardo couldn’t muster up the strength to reassure him so he shot him a look instead, hoping Raphael understood it’s meaning. </p><p><em> I’m okay, Raph. </em> Raphael received the message and snorted. </p><p><em> Like hell you are, </em> he seemed to shoot back. Leonardo didn’t answer, trekking up the stairs to Donatello’s lab. Donatello pushed him into a chair and got to work on disinfecting Leonardo’s hands before he could wrap them, humming to himself as he did so. </p><p>“You’re lucky you didn’t break your hands,” Donatello said, and Leonardo looked sheepishly at him. </p><p>“Sorry,” he grinned nervously, but Donatello let him go with a “don’t do it again”. Leonardo didn’t dare try and argue, knowing his genius brother well enough to know when to keep his mouth shut. The darkness that had almost consumed him before had gone completely silent, and Leonardo was relieved. </p><p>Leonardo must have zoned out because the next thing that registered in his sluggish brain was Donatello kicking him out, telling Leonardo to go to his room and sleep so the genius could work on some of his projects. Leonardo did as he was told and dragged himself to his room, not even stopping to say hello to Raphael or check on Michelangelo. </p><p>Leonardo closed his door when he got to his room and crashed on his bed, feeling exhausted beyond words. He burrowed under his <em> Space Heroes </em> covers, pulling them over his head as he yawned. Leonardo was asleep before his head hit his pillow, his blue mask hanging on his headboard and forever reminding him of his identity, who he was. Reminding him of all the pain he’d experienced, and yet all the joy. Leonardo felt himself smile. </p><p>Life was so complicated. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Leonardo awoke the next morning his throat felt scratchy, and when he swallowed it did nothing to ease the feeling. The blue-clad turtle frowned and pulled himself out of bed, grabbing his mask before opening his door and walking down the short hall to the bathroom. Judging from their closed doors his brothers weren’t up yet, which meant Leonardo had the whole bathroom to himself. </p><p>Leonardo turned on the water and rubbed at his throat, a strange feeling sitting at the bottom of his stomach. He shook his head to stop zoning out and stuck his hand underneath the water, feeling that the stream had turned warm quite some time ago. Leonardo was skeptical but didn’t venture further on the train of thought, stepping into the tub and shivering at the warmth of the water. Leonardo felt as if the cold he felt yesterday was still sticking to his bones and reached to turn the faucet a little more to the left, increasing the temperature of the shower. When it still wasn’t enough Leonardo went to twist the faucet a little more, finding that the water was already as hot as it was going to get. Leonardo shivered again and focused on scrubbing away any dirt or dust that he had gotten on him during his late night run, bouncing between zoning out and awareness. </p><p>Leonardo was rinsing the soap off his arm when a wave of dizziness rolled over him, and Leonardo felt himself lean against the shower wall for support without meaning to. Leonardo licked his lips before pushing himself upright again, and he continued to rinse the soap off of his shell. Not a moment after he finished rinsing himself completely the dizziness came back with a vengeance, bringing nausea along with it as backup to make sure Leonardo felt as disoriented as possible. Leonardo quickly turned off the water and sat down heavily in the bathtub, not even caring that he was soaking wet and basically trembling from the cold. Leonardo’s vision swam and he wondered if he was swaying, but he couldn’t tell. </p><p>“What the fuck?” Leonardo slurred, not even scolding himself for the cuss word. Leonardo tipped forward and the next thing he knew he was kneeled over the toilet, almost everything that had previously been in his stomach in the bowl. </p><p>Leonardo blinked and sat back, rubbing at his head with a hand as he tried to collect himself. Leonardo felt some bile still stuck in his throat and coughed to bring it up, spitting it out into the toilet before grabbing a few sheets of toilet paper. Leonardo wiped his mouth before adding the paper to the bowl and flushing, closing the lid and flinching when he saw some sick on the back of the toilet lid that must have gotten there in his half-conscious hurry. He reached for some more toilet paper and wiped it all away, making a note to clean the bathroom later. </p><p>The eldest turtle got to his feet and had to hold onto the wall to keep himself upright as he took his towel, which had been knocked to the ground at some point in his haste. Leonardo quickly dried himself off and stepped out of the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to crawl back to his room and sleep but knowing his brothers would get suspicious if he did. So, with much effort, Leonardo instead walked to the kitchen where he could hear his brothers talking amongst themselves. </p><p>“I’m <em> telling </em> you, red is so much better than orange,” Raphael argued, holding a piece of bacon for Chompy to munch on. “It’s the coolest color ever.” </p><p>“Orange is way better dude, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Michelangelo countered, and Leonardo stared at his youngest brother sitting with Raphael as Donatello moved around, heating up leftovers. </p><p>“Mikey?” Leonardo asked incredulously, staring at his brother with part amazement and part concern. Michelangelo spotted him and his round face broke out in a grin, jumping out of his seat. </p><p>“Leo!” he cried, throwing his arms around his brother. Leonardo couldn’t help but chuckle despite how terrible he felt, hugging his brother back with relief. </p><p>“I see you’re feeling better,” Leonardo commented as Michelangelo released him from his death grip, and his brother nodded furiously. </p><p>“I’m feeling loads better! You’re the best, Leo,” Michelangelo smiled at him, and Leonardo guessed Donatello had told him everything. </p><p>“He’s also apparently out of it today,” Donatello smirked, and Leonardo stared at him in confusion. Donatello rolled his eyes and pointed to his purple mask, and Leonardo raised a hand to run it over the place his mask would normally be, only met with warm scales. </p><p>“Oh,” Leonardo said like an idiot, and granted, he felt like one. “Huh.” His brothers laughed and Michelangelo sat back down and patted the seat next to his, gesturing for his brother to come sit. Leonardo saw that Donatello was starting to serve up food and his stomach recoiled violently, glad there was almost nothing in his stomach for him to throw up. </p><p>“I’m okay, I ate before I showered,” Leonardo lied smoothly, feeling oddly guilty. “I’m going to go grab my mask.” He didn’t get a verbal answer, but he did get two nods of acknowledgment. </p><p>“On the visible light spectrum violet has the highest frequency and the shortest wavelength, so it’s the best scientifically,” Donatello said, starting up the early conversation. </p><p>“Fuck your science, red is the best,” Leonardo heard Raphael snap back, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Leonardo walked past the storage closet on his way to the bathroom and grabbed the Lysol spray so he could disinfect the bathroom before his brothers used it. </p><p>Leonardo entered the bathroom and grabbed his mask, making sure it was safely tied around his head before spraying the toilet, sink and bathtub down with a generous layer of Lysol and waving a hand in front of his nose to dissipate the smell. </p><p>“Hey bro, what’re you doing?” a voice asked from behind him and Leonardo nearly jumped out of his shell, whipping around to be met with Michelangelo’s curious expression. Leonardo relaxed and placed the Lysol under the sink before grabbing a new bar of soap, rising to meet his brother again. </p><p>“Cleaning the bathroom while I’m at it, it was long overdue for a clean,” Leonardo said, which was true. The bathroom <em> had </em> needed to be cleaned. </p><p>“Oh, that’s smart,” Michelangelo nodded in agreement as Leonardo unwrapped the new soap and reached into the shower to place it next to the old soap bar, which was almost at the end of its life. </p><p>“Hey bro, you okay?” Michelangelo piped up suddenly, and Leonardo looked at him curiously when he was finished with his task. </p><p>“I’m fine, why do you ask?” Leonardo said, and as he walked out of the bathroom Michelangelo followed him. </p><p>“You just seem kinda off today,” his brother said, and Leonardo reached a hand over to rub Michelangelo’s head affectionately. </p><p>“I’m fine, Mikey, but thank you for worrying about me,” Leonardo smiled, and the answer must have been convincing enough since Michelangelo dropped the subject. When they reunited with their brothers Donatello and Raphael were already waiting for them, apparently still bickering about colors. </p><p>“Raph, we’ve been <em> over </em> this, red has the longest wavelength-” Donatello began before Raphael cut him off. </p><p>“I don’t even know what that means!” Raphael said with vexation, throwing his hands into the air. </p><p>“Enough,” Leonardo interrupted before things could escalate any further, turning the attention towards himself. “We’re going on patrol in five minutes, get your things.” </p><p>“No train-?” Michelangelo started to say, but Raphael jumped forward and covered his mouth before he could finish his sentence. The red-clad turtle flashed an innocent smile at his eldest brother, who raised an eye ridge at him but didn’t comment. </p><p>“Oh, and by the way, blue is the best color,” Leonardo said simply as he walked away, relishing Raphael’s baffled face. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Leonardo eased the manhole cover off of their usual sewer exit, scanning with his eyes cautiously before giving the all-clear to exit the sewers. Leonardo lifted himself up and onto the street before nausea punched his gut hard, and Leonardo felt the bile at the back of his throat. He froze in place, making sure to keep his breath study and even so he didn’t panic. He couldn’t be sick here, they were too exposed. </p><p>“Leo, move it!” Michelangelo complaining from behind Leonardo. “I don’t wanna keep staring at your butt forever, ya know!” </p><p>“Sorry,” Leonardo mumbled hurriedly, collecting himself before moving to let his brothers climb up as well. Michelangelo excitedly jumped out of the manhole, practically vibrating with energy. Leonardo watched him bounce past him with resignation, once again questioning how his youngest brother had possibly managed to convince the leader to let him come. </p><p>“You’re only out here cause you made puppy dog eyes at Leo until he said yes, so take it easy,” Donatello said and he climbed out of the sewer, and Leonardo’s lips pressed into a thin line. So that was it. </p><p>“I know I know, and I promise to go home the second I feel tired blah blah blah,” Michelangelo said as he rolled his eyes, ignoring his brother’s concern. “Honestly, Dee, I’m fine. I don’t know why you’re making such a big fuss.” </p><p>“Does the fact that you were bedridden for a week mean nothing to you?” Donatello bit back wearily, rummaging around his bag. </p><p>“Nope,” Michelangelo said cheerfully, popping the “p”. Leonardo watched the scene with no particular interest as Raphael brushed past him, taking a sai out of his belt and twirling it in his hand. </p><p>“I just hope we get something to fight tonight,” he grinned, a wild look flashing in his emerald eyes. </p><p>“No fighting tonight would be preferable,” Leonardo corrected, noticing Donatello was wandering off in a different direction with what looked like his ooze scanner in his hands. “What’re we searching for tonight, Donnie?” </p><p>“It’s a very low possibility, but my scanners said they picked up a faint trace of mutagen somewhere in this area,” Donatello said distractedly while Leonardo frowned. </p><p>“I thought we got all the mutagen cleaned up,” Leonardo said, but Donatello shrugged. </p><p>“Maybe, maybe not,” he said. “Better to be safe than sorry nowadays with Shredder gone and everything. You never know which maniac might try and turn themselves into the next Shredder.” Leonardo shuddered at the thought; they did <em> not </em> need another Shredder. </p><p>“That would be bad,” Michelangelo spoke for everyone, and Raphael gave him an unimpressed look. </p><p>“Well no shit, dumbass,” Raphael said lazily, crossing his arms over his chest. </p><p>“Language,” Leonardo said automatically on instinct as Donatello started walking towards an alleyway, and his brothers followed after him. </p><p>“Yessir, Captain America,” Raphael said sarcastically in hopes of provoking his brother, but Leonardo didn’t take the bait. His body felt hot and he felt unsteady on his feet, as if he would tip over at a moment’s notice. </p><p>They reached the alleyway and began to search around, looking in boxes and behind trash cans. Leonardo felt disoriented and just so <em> hot, </em> not even noticing the can in front of his foot before he tripped over it and was sent crashing into a large pile of trash bags. </p><p>“Smooth, bro,” Raphael cackled like a hyena and Leonardo picked himself up, incredibly dizzy as he got to his feet. The nausea returned and Leonardo was half tempted to cover his hand with his mouth, but that would alert his brothers something wrong so Leonardo stood perfectly still for a moment, willing the feeling to go away. </p><p>Eventually it did, but Leonardo suddenly wanted to leave the alley and go back home and just forget about this whole patrol and mutagen hunt until some other time. Leonardo wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for a week so badly it hurt, until he realized that it was his throat and stomach that hurt. His throat felt like he had scrubbed it raw, and when Leonardo swallowed it didn’t do anything to ease the feeling. His stomach ached fiercely, and the heat behind his eyes was beginning to hinder his vision. </p><p>“Hey bro, you alright?” Michelangelo asked, snapping Leonardo out of his daze so he was met with Michelangelo’s concerned baby blue eyes. “You’ve been standing there for a really long time.” </p><p>“I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” Leonardo answered, reaching up to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder before giving him a smile and walking over to Donatello. </p><p>“Anything, Dee?” Leonardo inquired, looking around as he waited for Donatello to answer. </p><p>“Not yet, but the signal is getting stronger,” Donatello said. “I can tell that much at least.” </p><p>“Found it!” Raphael hollered from behind them, and Leonardo and Donatello turned to see the red-clad turtle holding, to their collective surprise, an unsealed canister of mutagen. </p><p>“Oh, wow,” Michelangelo said, which was exactly the word Leonardo would’ve used to describe the situation. “Didn’t think we’d ever see one of <em> those </em> again.” </p><p>“It sure is a surprise,” Donatello said, walking over to take the glowing canister from Raphael. The genius raised the canister a little to study it, clearly fascinated. “I can use this to make some more retro-mutagen just in case. There’s no such thing as too much of it.” </p><p>“Sounds like a plan,” Michelangelo said, and Donatello gave him an unimpressed look. </p><p>“You don’t get to say anything, you’re just going to keep me from doing my work,” Donatello said, and Michelangelo put a hand over his heart with mock hurt. </p><p>“How mean you are, Donatello!” Michelangelo cried dramatically, covering his eyes with the back of his other hand and looking away for more dramatic effect. The display was enough to rouse a laugh out of Leonardo, who immediately regretted it. The familiar feeling of dizziness and nausea came back full force to land a blow against Leonardo, causing him to stagger and lean against the alleyway wall for support. </p><p>“Hey, Leo, you alright?” Donatello asked immediately, putting the mutagen and his scanner back into his bag and hurrying over to his brother’s side. </p><p>“‘M fine,” Leonardo protested half-heartedly, wanting to push away Donatello’s caring hands but not finding the strength to do so. Donatello placed a hand on Leonardo’s forehead and frowned, clearly not pleased. </p><p>“Jeez, Leo, you’re burning up,” Donatello scolded, trying to sound angry, but the worry overshadowed it. “Why didn’t you tell us if you weren’t feeling well?” </p><p>“‘Cause I feel <em> fine, </em> Donnie,” Leonardo whined, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw Donatello’s eyes widen the slightest bit. Leonardo was not often one to whine or complain, since that role usually went to their youngest brother. It went to show just how low their brother felt. </p><p>“C’mon, let’s get you home,” Donatello urged gently, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder and trying to pry him from the wall. Leonardo’s stomach revolted against the movement, and Leonardo leaned heavily against Donatello. </p><p>“Gonna throw up,” Leonardo garbled, and Donatello nodded. The latter nodded and lowered both of them to the ground just as everything else in Leonardo’s stomach came up, burning his throat and making it hard to breathe. Donatello was patient, letting Leonardo’s body cleanse itself while rubbing comforting circles on his eldest brother’s shell. Raphael and Michelangelo stood in front of the two protectively, keeping watch for any humans or creatures that could try and to attack them while their guard was down. </p><p>When Leonardo was finished he shivered violently, every ounce of fight gone from his body. Donatello took a tissue out of his bag and wiped his brother’s mouth for him, and why Donatello had tissues in his bag Leonardo would never know. The leader didn’t take to being cared for particularly well, but in his circumstances Leonardo knew he didn’t have much of a choice. </p><p>“Feel better?” Donatello asked, chuckling when Leonardo shook his head quickly. “Let’s go home, yeah?” </p><p>“Umm, Dee? That might not be an option just yet,” Michelangelo said nervously, tearing Donatello’s attention away from Leonardo. </p><p>“Why not?” he asked, looking to where Michelangelo was pointing. Shadowy figures were studying them from a nearby rooftop, standing so still Donatello was sure he never would have seen them if they hadn’t been pointed out to him. </p><p>“Who’re those guys?” Raphael growled, taking out his sai. </p><p>“Trouble,” Donatello said, glancing at Leonardo. Leonardo met Donatello’s eyes and gave him a silent order: <em> run. </em> </p><p>“I’m not leaving you,” Donatello said lowly enough so that only Leonardo could hear it, and Leonardo inwardly sighed. He honestly should’ve seen that one coming. </p><p>Before Leonardo could argue some more quiet thuds echoed from around them as more shadow figures dropped down from the rooftop and surrounded them. Raphael and Michelangelo moved closer to their two brothers on the ground, acting as shields. </p><p>“What do you want?” Raphael demanded and Leonardo attempted to do a headcount, but the shadows blurred together and doubled in Leonardo’s fever-cloaked vision. </p><p>“We have come from Japan to serve our master, Shredder,” one of the figures spoke, clutching at their katana. Leonardo had the faintest feeling they were glaring at him. “But imagine our surprise when we learn he has been slain, by him.” The figure pointed his katana directly at Leonardo, and he had no doubt then that they were all glaring at him. </p><p>“You want our brother, you’re going to have to go through us first,” Raphael snapped, and the figure focused his blade on him. </p><p>“With pleasure,” he said, and as he shot forward to swing at Raphael the battle began. Donatello propped Leonardo up against the wall before standing up to join their brothers in the fight against their new mysterious foe. Leonardo put a hand over his abdomen and grimaced at the pain there, watching the conflict unfold with baited breath. </p><p>A kunai knife flew towards Leonardo and he hurriedly ducked to avoid it, seeing Raphael go to intersect the ninja that had thrown it with a yell of rage. Donatello looked over to see what the noise had been and paid the price, his opponent cutting a gash on his upper arm. Donatello cried out more in surprise than pain, and Leonardo saw red. His mind was made up, and a determination like none Leonardo had ever felt before flooded his veins. </p><p>Leonardo shakily got to his feet and suppressed a moan, his head reeling. He forced himself to take a step forward, and then another, and then another until he was half running, half limping. <em> I can’t fail them, </em> he thought desperately, dragging himself along. <em> I have to protect them. </em> </p><p>“Over here!” he called out hoarsely, unsheathing one of his katanas. He banged the blade against the wall and while it might not have been the smartest decision he’d ever made, it got the attention of the ninjas that had attacked them. Leonardo was positive he’d scold himself for being such a poor swordsman and ninja later, but the lives of his brothers came first. </p><p>“Leo, what’re you doing?!” Raphael demanded, but Leonardo didn’t listen to him. </p><p>“Come get me!” Leonardo yelled, and one by one the ninja abandoned their battles and started to chase after him. </p><p>“Oh shit,” Leonardo cursed, turning and starting to run unsteadily and without a plan. In his defense, he hadn’t expected to get that far. </p><p>“We will cut out your heart and offer it as a sacrifice to our great master!” one of the ninja yelled, throwing another kunai. Leonardo managed to dodge it in time in order to avoid getting a knife to the back of his head, but the blade’s edge grazed his cheek. The wound stung, but it was bearable. </p><p>Leonardo turned into another alleyway, not noticing the dead-end until it was too late. He turned around and backed up until his back was quite literally against the wall, his vision swimming. Leonardo stumbled over himself and he almost fell down, his entire body feeling like a sack of rocks. </p><p>“You should be feeling the effects of the poison by now, kappa,” one of the ninja sneered, and Leonardo blinked heavily. </p><p>“Poison. . .?” Leonardo managed to say, and the same ninja that spoke chuckled. </p><p>“Oyasumi, kappa,” they said, and Leonardo fell to the ground just before he blacked out. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Leonardo awoke he was warm. He spotted Michelangelo sleeping in a chair on his right, the youngest leaning his upper body against the bed so he would be more comfortable. Leonardo smiled and raised an arm to stroke Michelangelo’s head, being careful not to wake him. </p><p>“He’s been there all night,” a new voice came and Leonardo turned to see Donatello standing in the doorway of his room, a steaming mug of tea in between his hands. </p><p>“Hey, Dee,” Leonardo said, his voice scratchy. His throat felt covered in sandpaper and he lifted up a hand to rub at it. Donatello noticed and walked over, sitting down on the bed and raising the mug of tea to Leonardo’s lips. Donatello helped Leonardo take small sips, the hot liquid soothing Leonardo’s rebelling throat. </p><p>“Thank you,” Leonardo said gratefully, and Donatello set the mug on his nightstand. “What happened to the ninja that attacked us?”</p><p>“We were able to defeat them, of course,” Donatello answered shortly. The blue-clad turtle noticed that Donatello was being unusually quiet and gave him a questioning look, wondering what was wrong. Donatello pursed his lips and glared hard at him, and Leonardo gulped. </p><p>“You’re stupid,” Donatello scolded flatly, and Leonardo chuckled weakly. </p><p>“Sorry, Donnie,” he said, but his brother wasn’t done. </p><p>“If you ever do something like that again I’ll kick your ass,” Donatello said, and by the hardness in his normally soft eyes Leonardo knew he was telling the truth. </p><p>“I will. . . take that into account,” Leonardo said slowly, unsure of what to say next. An awkward air hung over them until finally Donatello sighed and looked at Leonardo once more, his eyes much gentler than a few seconds before. </p><p>“You really scared me,” Donatello whispered, looking down at his hands. Leonardo didn’t say anything for a moment, contemplating. </p><p>“I know I did, and I really am sorry,” he finally decided. “It was selfish of me.” </p><p>“It’s alright,” Donatello sighed, giving Leonardo a tired grin. “You’re Leo, after all.” </p><p>“But that’s not an excuse,” Leonardo frowned. </p><p>“It sure isn’t,” Michelangelo’s voice slurred sleepily, and both brothers looked over to see Michelangelo had risen and was sitting up, rubbing at his eyes. </p><p>“Seriously bro, enough with the sacrificing hero bull, okay?” Michelangelo said accusingly, looking pointedly at his leader. Leonardo grinned and held both of his arms open wide, and his younger brothers looked at each other before they both crawled into the bed and snuggled into Leonardo's sides. </p><p>“I love you guys,” Leonardo said happily, the warmth his brother’s radiated slowly lulling him back to sleep. </p><p>
  <span>“I gave you the antibiotics but you’re still recovering, take it easy,” Donatello said from where he was smushed into his brother’s side, attempting and failing at wiggling into a more comfortable position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We love you too, bro,” Michelangelo answered back, in the same situation as Donatello but perfectly content with where he was. Leonardo ignored what Donatello said and continued to trap his brothers, and Donatello eventually gave in with a sigh and accepted his fate. Leonardo grinned down cheekily at him, which earned him a glare with no heat behind it from the genius. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All this love, bleh,” came Raphael’s rough voice from the doorway. “Disgusting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Totally,” Michelangelo sighed happily. The youngest was curled into a living ball of heat against his eldest brother’s side, and for once Leonardo didn’t fret if Michelangelo would make him overheat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Move over before I push ya off the bed,” Raphael growled, but his tone was lacking the bite it normally held. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leonardo closed his eyes and tapped Michelangelo’s shoulder so the youngest would scooch over and make room for their brother. Raphael got under the covers next to Michelangelo, squishing him against Leonardo and not paying any attention to his protests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, Raphie really does care about us,” Michelangelo taunted once he was comfortable again, and Leonardo didn’t need to have his eyes open to hear the resounding </span>
  <em>
    <span>smack</span>
  </em>
  <span> that echoed across the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Raph, that hurt!” Michelangelo whined. “I’m still recovering! Right, Dee?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” was Donatello’s sleepy answer, and Leonardo wondered if he even heard the question at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See?” Michelangelo argued, but Raphael didn’t heed his warning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next time I won’t be so forgiving,” Raphael snapped, and Michelangelo grumbled once more before finally settling down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well next time you get hungover </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> not going to make you my super secret hangover cure,” Michelangelo whispered underneath his breath, just loud enough for Leonardo to hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leonardo genuinely laughed for the first time in weeks, feeling the happiest he’d ever felt in his life. He could already hear Donatello snoring, and despite being such a light sleeper the blue-banded turtle could feel himself falling back asleep as well. Leonardo sighed in content, wrapped in a tight cocoon of love and security as he slipped into the vast world of dreams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really did have it all. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Note: the scene where Leo gets sick in the bathroom actually happened to me and it was.. not fun ;D</p><p>This fic was honestly SO much longer than I expected it to be, it was only supposed to be a little drabble and then a bunch of ideas came and slapped me in the face so here we are. </p><p>Come talk to me on instagram or twitter!! My username is @//bokeijis_ for both. I promise I don't bite ;) If either of my accounts are deactivated and you really want to reach me for any reason my personal is @//silver.kou on instagram. </p><p>I hope everyone enjoyed reading and have a lovely rest of your day/night!! If you're reading this really late at night go to sleep or if you're reading this during the day make sure you eat or else I'll hunt you down and make YOU pancakes &gt;:)</p><p> - Misty</p>
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